Girl: I saw that movie when it came out, The Passion of the Christ.
Grandma: What movie?
Girl: The Passion of the Christ. You haven’t heard of it?
Grandma: Yes, but I’m not interested in watching it. Mel Gibson produced it.
Girl: Oh. So it’s a principle thing.
Grandma: No. It’s an I-don’t-like douchebaginess thing.
–JFK Airport
Chick #1: Man, I wish Colin would stop saying he loves me.
Chick #2: Why, you don’t love him?
Chick #1: I care about him, but I don’t love him. I only love one person.
Chick #2: Who? God?
Chick #1: No — me.
–Park Plaza Diner, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Haley
Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?
–English Department, Hostos Community College
Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!
–1 train
Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!
–1 Train
Overheard by: sagehen
Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!
–F Train
Overheard by: yana
Girl looking at abstract wall installation: Oh god. This is pure art. It really speaks to me.
Boy: What does it say?
Girl: (makes loud farting sound and walks away)
–Art Exhibit, Time Warner Building
Chick #1: So I came home last weekend, and I saw that my dad had organized my vibrators.
Chick #2: By color or shape?
Chick #1: Color.
–Club Exit, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Galina
Hobo to four pretty girls: Hi ladies, how're you doing today?
Girls: Good, thanks, how are you?
Hobo: Just so you know, when I win my 171 million, I'm taking you all on vacation!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Samantha
20-ish girl: Then I disclosed that Michael probably has Asperger’s syndrome.
20-ish guy: Asperger’s people are smart. This guy is a ninny.
20-ish girl: He’s IT smart, and he had a retard son, and you know how that shit runs in the family.
–Brooklyn-bound R train
Queer: I would never want my little girl to be in Girl Scouts!
Girl: Why?
Queer: Because Girl Scouts is for lesbians.
Girl: That’s not true! I was in Girl Scouts, and I’m not a lesbian!
Queer: Yeah, but you’re fat and alone.
–Washington Sq Park
Girl #1: It’s so weird that I used to do online dating. I guess I felt like, because it was Nerve.com, it was okay, because Nerve is for the sex crazed.
Girl #2: How many people did you sleep with?
Girl #1: Eight.
Girl #2: Wait a second– do you really like sex?
Girl #1: No, not really.
Girl #2: Good, me neither.
–Bleecker & Charles
20-something girl: That's because your girlfriend hates me!
20-something guy, slightly chuckling: She doesn't hate you… she hates everyone.
–Times Square
Overheard by: sounds like a keeper
Headline by: slowly losing faith in people
Runners-Up:
· “…But It Wouldn’t Hurt to Lose a Little Weight” – ThugAuditor
· “God, I Love Her Genocidal Tendencies” – Duncan Pflaster
· “I Told You, We Met at the Nazi Rally” – The Drifter
· “Now, If You’ll Excuse Me, I Have to Punish Myself for Saying That” – Jason
· “Or at Least Everyone I Want to Sleep With” – sagert
· “She Doesn’t Discriminate” – beans
· “She Even Hates Life Cereal” – Let’s Get Mikey
· “What I’m Really Trying to Say Is She Won’t Hate You More If We Fuck” – Zak
· “Which, OK, Technically Includes You. But Again – Threeway?” – been there
