Ditzy chick: I'm not telling him that I love him because I don't want to set myself up for disappointment.
Flamboyant boy: Sometimes you have to take risks, or else you will never get “appointed”. (laughs)
Ditzy chick: Ha ha ha. “Appointed” isn't even a word.
–57th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Titiful
Girl #1: Do you want to get some lunch first?
Girl #2: No, I had a huge dinner last night at this new guy’s place and pancakes this morning.
Girl #1: Mmm, where did you get pancakes from?
–10th Street & 6th Avenue
Overheard by: Allis Hellmich
Black woman: You look like Vanna White.
White girl: Really?
Black woman: Don’t she look like Vanna White?
Queer: Yes, but better.
Black woman: What do you mean better! Vanna is rich and shit. And on TV. And this bitch over here has nothing. She’s on the subway, for Christ’s sake!
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: JR
Girl #1: I hate my life! I need to go out there! Like drive to Hawaii!
Girl #2: You can't drive to Hawaii, you don't even have a license!
–Bedford & N 8th
Overheard by: Bklynguts
Guy: Yo girl, I gotta song for you.
Girl: Okay. What you got?
Guy, beginning to beat-box: You a five-star bitch, I got a five-star dick…
Girl: Hahahaha.
Guy: Eight inches long and just as thick…
Girl: What!? Hold up!
–W. 110th & Malcom X
Overheard by: The Music Man
Drunk girl: So, have you heard from her?
Drunk guy: No, she’s too busy popping out fetuses. She pops out a fetus like every week!
–57th & 9th
Overheard by: Cori
Guy: Yeah, and he lied to me about dying, too!
–Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Girl: So what is your name going to be tonight?
–6th Ave & 57th St
Queer on cell: She tried to tell me that I was fatter than him — that muthafucka is the worst liar in the world!
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: She was probably right…
Guy: I just told her, ‘Keep on fakin’ those orgasms!’
–7th Ave & 32nd St
Suit on cell in McDonald’s: Yeah, well, I’m in Connecticut right now…
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Blaine
Conductor: There’s another local train directly behind this one. I would never lie to you.
–W train to Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Man exiting taxi: If anyone asks, we walked!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Kyle
Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians.
–Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room
Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Kayla Monetta
Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian."
–E 10th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down.
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown.
–Brooklyn College
Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Not hungry either
Girl #1: This says it's 99 degrees out.
Girl #2: Really? I would have thought it's 100 degrees.
–32nd St & Madison Ave
Girl #1: Oh my god! That condom wrapper says “oriental flavor.” What does that even mean?
Girl #2, looking at litter: I think that's a Ramon noodle seasoning pouch.
–Central Park
