Girls

Young lawyer: My little boy finally made the transition from diapers to "big boy" underwear. On his first day back to pre-school he dropped his trousers and showed the whole class his lightning McQueens.
Young lawyer: … And it created a domino effect of three-year-olds showing their undies.

–6 Train

Overheard by: POLA

Chick on cell: Better underwear than meth!

–Harlem

Overheard by: McFreaky

Boyfriend to girlfriend looking at lingerie in window: It’s kind of cold for that.

–University & 9th

Overheard by: Mary Crippen

Skank: So I’m thinking "Now I’ve got to get rid of those panties!"

–54th & 9th

Overheard by: thats gross

Earnest teen chick, calling to retreating waitress: Do you sell thongs? I’m serious, I really need them!

–Hard Rock Cafe, Times Square

Overheard by: Amanda

Man getting into elevator: … And she was all like "Hi, whatchu doin’?" And I was like "Whaaaat?" I didn’t know what to say, she was all over me, I could see her panties. [Everyone in elevator looks at him and laughs a little.] I mean, come on, we’re all adults in here. What was I supposed to do? Smile? Say "Hi" back?

–Elevator, Empire State Building

Man coming out of ATM: They’re all out of service.
Girl #1: All of them?
Man: Yup!
Girl #1: Well now what?
Girl #2: People in New York are so fricking cheerful, it makes me nauseous.

–9th & University

Eight-year-old-girl: What is aged cheese?
Dad: You age cheese to make it better.
Eight-year-old-girl: You do?
Dad: Like whiskey.
Eight-year-old-girl: Ahhhh, I see.

–Starbucks, 9th & 2nd

Girl #1: What kind of man wears a toe ring?
Girl #2: Umm… he was talking to himself and fumbling with something in his butt.
Girl #1: Yeah, but he had a blackberry.

–A Train

Overheard by: Cynthia

Guy: I hate people honking on their horns in still traffic. It never helps anyone.
Girl: Until I get a bumper sticker that says “Keep honking, it only makes my penis bigger.”
Guy: … And that’s my cue to go.

–1 Train

Drunk girl to friends: Wait! Wait, bitches, shut up! This is important!
[Drunk friends turn to her.]Drunk girl: I totally just threw up all over my own feet!
Drunk guy: That’s fucking hot!

–Brother Jimmy’s Bait Shack, 92nd & 3rd

Overheard by: rebecca

Headline by: Adam

Runners-Up:
· “1 Girl, 2 Manolos” – Allyson L.
· “And I Can’t Wait for Volume II Of “Girls Gone Ipecac”” – NotoriousAR
· “How Paris Found Her Catch-Phrase” – Janet
· “If By “Hot” You Mean the Temperature Of My Vomit, Then Yes, It Is Rather Hot.” – CL
· “It’s Because She Vomits Lava.” – Sean McGurr
· “Matchmaker: Remember, Girls. Chunks Turn on Hunks.” – NewFaceOfEvil
· “Usually I Have to Pay Extra for That” – As do I
· “When Fetishes Collide” – Jon

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Girl with clipboard: Excuse me, do you have a moment for gay rights?
College guy, not stopping: I love lesbian porn!

–116 & Broadway

Mother: Are you still drunk?
Daughter: I wasn’t drunk yesterday!

–71st St & Broadway, Queens

Mom: You need to relax!
Teen girl: Why? Because I said “Oh my god”?
Mom: Just relax!
Teen girl, mockingly: Oh my god! Oh my god!
Mom: Just fucking relax!

–Union Square

Girl #1: I think Inna still gets a little embarrassed when we have sexy-time.
Girl #2: Do you think that deep in her heart she is not a lesbian?
Girl #1: I dunno… But–
Girl #2: Remember the twizzler incident! The twizzler incident!

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: Penneh