Teenager #1: Aw, that guy was so cute! He'd better be there when I go return my skates.
Teenager #2: You should find out his number or something.
Teenager #1: Nah, that's too awkward.
Teenager #2: Just ask his name from one of the other workers, and say you wanna report him to the manager… But then really just stalk him on Facebook!
–Ice Skating Rink, Bryant Park
Overheard by: lol
Girl on cell: You have a mini what? Stalker? (pause) Do you mean "mini" like a little person? Or like only partial stalking?
–Park Ave & 77th St
Woman to friend: No wonder that guy is stalking you! You told him everywhere you were going!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: sarah
Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, hold on a minute. I gotta cross the street to stalk this girl.
–Times Square
Overheard by: creeped out
Mother to daughter, indignantly: No, it's not stalking! It's called being resourceful.
–16th St & 9th Ave
Irate gangster, following a scared-looking passenger: Excuse me, sir, would you like a wedgie? Sir! Excuse me! Would you like a wedgie?
–LIRR
Overheard by: Jane and Brian
Man: If I call you “honey” it's sexual harassment. If he says it, it's okay because he's gay.
Woman: “Honey” is nothing when you keep asking to feel my boobs.
–47th St & Broadway
Conductor on loudspeaker: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a slight signal problem ahead of us. There are several supervisors working to flip a coin and decide how we should proceed. Once they work that out, we'll be on to 125th Street, and it should be smooth sailing from there.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Melissa
Conductor: Do not shove! Stand clear of the doors! Ladies and gentlemen, there is another train directly behind this one. Look, people, we have to work together. If you get pick-pocketed, molested, or rubbed the wrong way, you only have yourselves to blame!
–6 Train
Overheard by: wondergirl
Conductor over intercom, after train stops: Stay calm, people. We are not going down. Repeat: this is not the Titanic, we are not going down!
–3 Train
Overheard by: C
Conductor: This train will now be running express so I suggest you get on this train… Hey you! Sitting on the bench! Get on this train now!
–R Train
Overheard by: kinda scared
Train conductor over loudspeaker: Good evening, Heather.
–Stamford-Bound Metro North Train
Overheard by: Dianachka
Conductor: Attention passengers, this is the almost always delayed 6:18 express train to Long Branch. If you were inconvenienced by the delay, shame on you, you should know New Jersey transit never operates on schedule.
–NJ Transit
Conductor: This is 7th Avenue, just three blocks from the 4th Avenue stop. You could have walked!
–F Train
Vendor: Can I ask you a question?
Girl: No.
Vendor: Can I grab your ass?
Girl: No.
–Time Square
Effeminate bisexual man: I'm going to make you come so many times… The thing is, I have self-esteem problems, and…
Female friend: Well, then you should talk to a therapist about that, instead of preying on unsuspecting girls.
–LIRR
20-something woman to 20-something man: You were thrown out because you were always creeping around all those women on the fourth floor.
–42nd St & 8th Ave
Jamaican woman on cell: Guess what? I don't stalk people anymore!
–Metro-North Train
Overheard by: Kristen
Guy to another: I know where you live. I could totally stalk you.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: fish
Man on corner holding many whistles for sale, wearing multicolored, umbrella hat: Young man, get one for your skateboard. Great for bikers, joggers, walkers, fast talkers and park stalkers!
–59th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Woman on cell: Right, right…I want to show him that's not me: I'm *not* stalking him…I'm *not* obsessed with him.
–West 66 Street & Freedom Place
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
40-something woman to sister (waiting for Daniel Radcliffe to come out after first preview of Equus: Okay, let's go. It's okay. I saw him last week, and I know where he lives.
–Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: ouch, you just elbowed me in the face, bitch
Girl #1: Can I stay at your place tonight?
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I met this guy and he's like stalking me. He almost choked me when we were fooling around.
Girl #2: Oh my god! Sure!
Girl #1: Yeah, he keeps calling me. He calls me Angelina Jolie.
Girl #2: You are not that hot.
Girl #1: I know.
–Bathroom, NYU
