Girl #1: I told you I finally got that bag right? It was marked down to $200 and…
Guy: My god! Can you stop talking to me, your breath stinks!
Silence until they exit at 96th St.
Girl #2 to friend: Dang, guys are mad grimey these days. He coulda been a gentleman and offered the sista a stick of gum or something.
–1 train
Overheard by: Shea
Girl: [chuckling] You know what’s funny? We always manage to notice how much other people stink but we could never gauge how bad we smell.
Guy: Heh. That’s so true!… Wait, you said that just to tell me how bad I smell.
Girl: Yeah.
–94th & Park
Overheard by: hunter 05
Girl #1: That was so good! I’m so full!
Girl #2: Yeah… If this were freshmen year, I would totally go puke.
–Shake Shack
Man: Isn’t “volvo” the medical term for a vagina?
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Tesla
Skinny girl: I have to start getting serious about anorexia.
Friend: Yeah, seriously!
–Central Park
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Dude: I’ve fired 3 people in the last 2 weeks. One girl was fat. But she didn’t know it. She would come into work with her belly falling out of her shirt. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
–NYSC, 38th & Broadway
Overheard by: Aimee
Guy: You know whose coochie smells? Don’t take this the wrong way: white girls. White girls’ coochie always smells nasty. Every white girl I been with, their coochie is stank.
Chick: You know why? It’s ’cause white girls live far from the ghetto, and they have a longass train ride to get to the ghetto, and by the time they get to your house in the ghetto, they sweating and waiting and their coochie stinks.
–40th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: cherie
Conductor #1: I have to head back to check out a problem.
Conductor #2: What’s the problem?
Conductor #1: Apparently some guy is masturbating in his seat.
Conductor #3: Could you two please switch to another channel?
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Steve Ross
Girl #1: I know it smells kind of cheap, but I like it because it’s the perfume I was wearing when I lost my virginity.
Girl #2: I thought you were wearing Ralph when you lost it.
Girl #1: No, that was my other virginity.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Lindsay Hall
