And on Your Left— Wednesday One-Liners!

Kid to another: And then, when you're 45, we can be tour guides.

–West Village

Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth

Tour guide: This tour will be in English, we have tour pamphlets in several other languages. If you are a non English speaking passenger, this announcement is of no use to you.

–Circle Line Harbor Lights Cruise

Overheard by: Trixie

Overexcited bespectacled tour guide leader to group of uninterested parents: So! That's the great thing, you know, about this school, is that it's not just you. It's the city, and the students, and the people, and the tourists, and… (starts to run out of things to say) the homeless people, and the squirrels… and pigeons! So, you see, it's not ever just you!

–Bobst Library, NYU

Tour guide on bus: Now over here we have Trump Towers. Donald is not in the building today, as he is out of country awaiting the birth of his next wife.

–Trump Towers

Posted on August 20, 2014
About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Birds, Bus, Clerks, Cruise Ship, Directions, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Language Barrier, Library, Marriage, NYU, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Passengers, Pregnancy & Birth Control, School and studying, Tourism, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village

When Urban Patois Jumps the Shark

Teenage son, to his white dad: Dad, you look like a homeless person!
White mom: Yeah, you want a dollar, nigga!?

–87th & 3rd

Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski

Posted on August 18, 2014
Boys, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Homeless, Insults, Moms, Teens, Upper East Side, White People

Wednesday One-Liners Flunk the Oral

Guy on cell, screaming : Did you or did you not give that guy a blowjob in the parking lot?

–3rd Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: JC

Hot girl talking to hot friend: He said blowjobs are like flowers for guys. Do I get flowers everyday? No! So why should he, right?

–C Train

Screaming bag lady: He asked me to suck his dick. I don't suck dick, I'm homeless.

–125th St

Overheard by: Reilly

Guy on cell: How's her gag reflex? Because that's a great way to make up for stupid.

–5th & 83rd

Overheard by: Kelly

Guy to another: Greg, do you want your cock sucked tonight? Then get in the car! (other guy hastily gets in car)

–The Village

Posted on August 17, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bag ladies, BJs, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Homeless, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Trees and plants, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

A Book About You

Yuppie #1: I really want a drink
Drunk Homeless man (to Yuppie #2): What are you reading?
Yuppie #2: I’m reading a book on sobriety.
Drunk Homeless man (looking over her shoulder): Oh
Yuppie #2: Yes, it’s also about drug additions..valium, etc.
Drunk Homeless man: Really that’s interesting

— Union Square Park

Posted on August 1, 2014
Books & Writing, Drugs, Drunks, Health and Hygiene, Homeless, Questions, Talking/Convos, Union Square and East Village, Yuppies

Race + Power = Racism, Kevin Claims

Hobo: Excuse me peoples, but can I get a dime or quarter?
College Student: Sorry, I can’t help you sir.
Hobo: Thanks a lot, whitey!

–161st Street, The Bronx

Overheard by: Peter Whalen

Posted on July 18, 2014
Hobos, Homeless, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, The Bronx, White People

A Homeless Miss Manners

Vagrant: Can you help a homeless man get something to eat? Huh? Ma’am? Did you say no? I can’t hear you!
Chinese Lady: No.
Vagrant: She said no! People, let me hear you!

–6 Train

Posted on July 17, 2014
Chinese, Hobos, Homeless, On the Subway, Panhandling, Women

Let’s Pluck Him and Stuff Our Coats

Businesswoman: It’s mighty ducky today.
Hobo: Quack!

–Wall Street

Posted on July 16, 2014
Animals & Nature, Crazies, Gripes, Hobos, Homeless, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Then Why Am I Laughing So Hard?

Homeless Advocate: A penny for the homeless! A penny is all we ask. Everyone is ignoring me over a penny. Don’t laugh at me. It’s not funny.

–Times Square

Posted on July 12, 2014
Activists, Homeless, Money & Class, Times Square

NY’s Homeless Speak on the Issues

A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah!

–Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave.

Overheard by: Andrea

Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East.

–29th St. & 2nd Ave.

Overheard by: Tricia Karsay

Posted on July 11, 2014
Hobos, Homeless, Iraq, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Starbucks, War

…Yet

Cracked-out hobo, watching crazy hobo yelling in the distance: What the hell is his problem?
Bag lady: I don't know, must be on some drugs or suttin'. Damn, I'm so glad we not like that!

–St. Mark's

Overheard by: Ilikecandy

Posted on January 3, 2011
Bag ladies, Drugs, Hobos, Homeless, Questions, Union Square and East Village