Tourist lady: Can I get an all day subway pass?
Token booth guy: Sure, $7.
Tourist lady: How long will that last?
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Jeff McCrum
Tourist lady: Can I get an all day subway pass?
Token booth guy: Sure, $7.
Tourist lady: How long will that last?
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Jeff McCrum
White guy #1: You know they fine you for smoking on a train platform even when it’s outdoors?
White guy #2: That’s crazy man.
White guy #1: They even fine you for peeing and jumping the turnstile.
White guy #2: Well, I understand jumping the turnstile…but peeing?
–A train
NYU girl #1: I am so fucking sick of the Jews for Jesus everywhere.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, I know, it’s really annoying.
NYU girl #1: It’s not annoying; it’s fucking insulting! What, do I look Jewish to them? I mean, seriously, I don’t, do I? You’d tell me if I looked Jewish, right?
–Washington Sq Park
Overheard by: Emily
Foster care and adoption supervisor: The police have closed off the street because someone is threatening to commit suicide. We need to cancel tonight’s family visit, because your children will not be able to get to the agency.
Birth mother: Why didn’t you tell me this at 10 this morning?
–Late afternoon, W 26th St
After the woman sent them to the wrong place twice, my uncle went back to the information desk.
Uncle: Excuse me, but did you have to pass an IQ test to get this job?
Information lady: I’m wearing my eyeglasses.
–JFK
Bimbette: Oh, that’s that guy Darwin.
Dude: Didn’t he invent Darwinism?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: JBL
Douche #1: Yeah, I can only wear tailored shirts now, I can't wear stuff right out of the store anymore.
Douche #2: Dude, do you, like, get them mammogramed?
Douche #1: Nah, I'm not sure if my tailor does that.
–4 Train
Overheard by: I.D.H.
Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead!
–9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts
Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that!
–Astoria
Overheard by: squarehand
Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album.
–Museum of Modern Art
Overheard by: Gino
Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries!
–Korean Baptist Church, Astoria
Overheard by: Evan
Girl: These fish are big, yo! Or is this tank magnetic?
–Petland, Greenpoint
Overheard by: miles
Sweatpants: So, how’s your life doing?
Girl: Um, okay, I guess.
Sweatpants: That’s good… So I was watching Pokemon the other day…
–Mars Bar
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
