Guy #1: Oh my god, I know. I heard Versace is having a huge sale!
Man: Shut up, you damn queer!
Guy #2: He’s just mad because he can’t even spell Versace.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Nikki Starr
Guy #1: Oh my god, I know. I heard Versace is having a huge sale!
Man: Shut up, you damn queer!
Guy #2: He’s just mad because he can’t even spell Versace.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Nikki Starr
Guy: Stop being such a Debbie Downer.
Girl: Stop watching such shitty tv shows.
–Q train
Lady: A lot of people came off this train. Why aren’t you people moving in?
Guy: There’s a baby stroller in the back.
Lady: Well, they should move it. Move it over to the side!
Guy: Move a tiny infant baby? Everybody, look! This lady right here is the Antichrist! Move the baby? You the Antichrist!
–6 train
Teen girl: What the fuck is a morning rubber? I’ve got to get a morning rubber.
Chick: God, you are such a virgin! You put a morning rubber on a morning glory, for God’s sake.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Pi.
Bag lady: Come here! Come here, you fuckin’ bitch! Are you too good to
give your fucking wife a hug? Come here, fucking bitch!
–23rd & Madison
Man #1: Eli has got some issues, some hair issues.
Man #2: Yeah, they used to call him an overretarded baby bird; now they just call him the bird’s nest.
–43rd & 8th
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Girl #1: Wow, your outfits are so cool.
Girl #2: Thanks!
Girl #1: Do you have any more glow bracelets?
Girl #2: Yeah, a lot
Girl #1: Can I have one?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Oh…So before when I said your outfits were cool: I was totally lying.
–Joshua Tree ladies’ room, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: e jack
News guy: Get your special AM Metro News! Special edition; last one for the year. Get two: one to read and one to frame.
–32nd & 7th
Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon
Teen boy: I really wanted to drink some champagne, but I didn’t have any flutes, so I had to drink it out of a wine glass.
Teen girl: That’s really embarrassing.
–Barney’s, Madison Avenue
Wheelbo: Happy new year! Happy new year!…Fuck your mother!
–9th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Eric
Guy: I guess “not funny” is the new “funny”.
–Comedy Cellar, Macdougal Street
Woman: They need to play more Rufus Wainwright. I only hear him on WFUV.
Man: Don’t you mean W-G-A-Y?
Woman: Oh, that was tactful.
–Spade’s Noodles, Rice & More, 3rd Avenue
Girl: What about that one ugly girl?
Guy: Man, she is so ugly. I would not touch that shit.
Girl: But you already fucked her!
Guy: Yeah, but it was only once. And I used a rubber.
Guy: You’re an ugly cheating cocksucking whore; you’re a fucking ugly slut. But you know why I stay with you? We have compatible personalities.
Guy: I hate that bitch. I want to fuck her in the ass.
Girl: But baby, you like to fuck me in the ass.
Guy: Yeah baby, but you like it when I fuck you in the ass.
Girl: Yeah, it doesn’t hurt so bad when you remember to breathe.
Girl: So when we get married are you gonna stop fucking my sister?
Guy: But I’ve been fucking her for a while now…It’s like a habit.
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Overheard by: helen r.
