Pilot to copilot: So do you fly these often?
Copilot: No.
–LaGuardia Airport
Pilot to copilot: So do you fly these often?
Copilot: No.
–LaGuardia Airport
Soft spoken Greek man at McDonald's counter: Excuse me, do you have breakfast?
Large uninterested lady employee: Honey, we got all the breakfast you want. (points to pictures)
Soft spoken Greek man: Uhm… where is this breakfast?
Lady employee, getting mad: Right up here–anything you want!
Soft spoken man Greek man: So what kind of omelet are you serving today?
–La Guardia Airport
Overheard by: David
Georgia hick: We need to see if our animals are here.
Flight attendant: Um, how many do you have?
Georgia hick: One. A chicken.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Dave
Girl: My friend is at the passenger pick-up area. Where is that?
Airport worker: The passenger pick-up is where the passenger is picked up.
Girl: Yeah, where is it?
Airport worker: At the passenger pick-up.
–La Guardia Airport
Overheard by: Joe
Little girl in men's room stall: Daddy, someone peed on the seat.
Dad: No, it's fine, honey.
Little girl: Daddy, someone peed on the seat!
Dad: It's fine, just go.
Little girl: Daddy, I peed on the seat.
–LaGuardia Airport
Gay man, getting off plane, to gay flight attendant: Hey, it's great to see you again!
Female flight attendant: Have you been here recently?
Gay flight attendant: Hell no, girl. I haven't been here in forever. I don't know who the fuck that man is.
–LaGuardia Airport
Fat naked guy on cell in NYSC locker room: I'm just leaving the bank now.
–New York Sports Club
Girl on cell: Hello? Oh, hi mom. Yeah, yeah, it's really early here. Yeah, it's about two in the morning. Yeah, the Eiffel tower was beautiful. Yeah, right to the top. And then we had crepes, yeah.
–Columbia University
Guy at urinal: I'm walking toward baggage claim, where are you?
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Next urinal
Tweenybopper on phone: Hey, Xander? We're at my house. My mom says you and Corey can't come over. Sorry!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Grumpy old man, walking alone, on cell: I can't! I've got my grandson with me!
(pause) Bitch, why would I lie to you? (pause) Okay, love you too.
–Harlem
Teen girl #1: It's really hard to understand my biology teacher because he's from Vietnam.
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: My biology teacher is Vietnamese.
Teen girl #2: Oh, I thought you said he was from Vietnam!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he is.
Teen girl #2: The planet?
–LaGuardia Airport
Chick on cell: Are you sure this is a sex trip and not a "meet-my-parents" trip?
–14th St
Overheard by: Argopelter
Laughing woman on cell: I'm going to be so busy when I get back! My week of relaxation is just going to be ruined by a hurricane.
–Starbucks, Park Ave South & 29th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy to three hot girls carrying luggage: Oh, hello, ladies. I also travel! What a coincidence! (girls walk away laughing) You can run! I will find you! It's only a matter of time!
–Financial District
Black woman on phone: Ya, man, I just got back from Miami. Shit, I'm still jet lagged!
–Wendy's, Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oh really?
Blonde girl on plane to another: I figured out on this trip that if you pack your lightest clothes on the bottom of your suitcase it will weigh less! Coming in, my suitcase weighed 54 pounds, and going home it only weighed 46! (second blonde nods knowingly)
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Meagan O.
Hobo: Hey girls, could you spare some change? Please? It's for my Hawaii fund! I'm gonna wear a bikini and dance the hula. And fuck it, I'm freezing my butt off!
–University Place & 10th St
Overheard by: queenofscots
Midwestern lady #1: See those trees over there?
Midwestern lady #2: Oh yes!
Midwestern lady #1: Do you think that's Central Park?
Midwestern lady #2 (getting excited): Oh, yes I do! It looks just like the pictures in the guidebook!
(Midwestern ladies proceed to get out their cameras and take pictures)
–Runway, LaGuardia Airport
