Lady: If the doormen went on strike, what would they do?
Guy: They would stand outside their buildings and picket.
Lady: How is that different from their job other then the fact that
they would be holding a sign?
–3rd & A
Lady: If the doormen went on strike, what would they do?
Guy: They would stand outside their buildings and picket.
Lady: How is that different from their job other then the fact that
they would be holding a sign?
–3rd & A
Dude #1: It’s not that I have a moral objection to the death penalty. I just don’t think it should be the government making the decision.
Dude #2: Would you prefer an angry mob?
–122nd & Amsterdam
Woman: She brought a bottle of vodka on the plane with her. She was doing shots the whole flight.
–Central Park
Overheard by: sarah
Conductor: The next stop is Cherry Hill, but for the men singing, it was alcohol.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Date Rape
Smooth operator: Don’t worry, I thought you were pretty before I got drunk.
–Subway
Party girl: Yeah, so I did like 10 shots and woke up the next day wearing only one shoe and a sombrero.
–51st St & Broadway
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have spent all my money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… But now, I have learned my lesson. I want to spend all your money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… and viagra…
–Union Square, uptown 6 train
Guy: Dude, I can’t get that drunk. I am trying to fuck that girl tonight.
–Outside Columbia dorm
Bimbette: Oh my god, it was a terrorist act! I’m going to the wine bar.
–68th St & York
Girl #1: I think they should make a sequel to Death of a Salesman.
Girl #2: Are you retarded?
–21st & 3rd
Overheard by: Caitlyn Howell
Girl: Yeah, so, did you hear that the bald eagle isn’t extinct anymore?
–Central Park
Chick #1: Hey, who was Yasser Arafat?
Chick #2: Uh, wasn’t he the president of Mexico?
Chick #1: Kill me.
–Washington Square Park
Little girl: I wish I could have that cookie.
Mother: It’s nice to wish.
–Starbucks, 111th & Broadway
Girl on cell: Seriously George, I gained twenty pounds while I was in LA, and now every black guy in the city can’t stop talking to me about my ass!
Guy slowly driving by and waving out window: Oooh girl, you so fiiiine…you gorgeous.
Girl on cell: Jesus Christ! There’s another one! I’ve gotta call you back, I’m going to the gym.
–Broadway & Bleeker
Hipster on cell: I’m not even buying anything. I’m just here to be seen.
–Trader Joe’s
Hipster boy: I loves me some master race!
–Lobby, the Met
Overheard by: Shayna
Tipsy hipster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!
–W 4th & Christopher St
Hipster guy: I think the most truly good person who’s ever been on this earth was Gandhi. Or maybe Martin Luther King, Junior… But he was black.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ghandi was Indian..
Drunk chick: What kind of hipsters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just because she wants to wear a Sailor Moon costume?
–St. Mark’s Pl
Mom: Don’t think of it as losing a friend…but as gaining a holiday destination.
–A train
Overheard by: Clacky
