She Got an A in Statistics

Guy: Yo, Katie, why do you always gotta look at me like I just looked at your ass or somethin’?
Katie: Well, because most of the time you usually are!

–Cheap Shots, 1st Ave between 9th & St.Mark’s

Overheard by:

Posted on July 13, 2006
Ass, Girls, Guys, Manhattan, Places, Private Parts, Topics, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Good Source of Protein

Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.

–Harlem

Overheard by: McN

Posted on July 12, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Manhattan, Moms, Parents, Penis, People, Places, Private Parts, Sex, Should've Used a Condom, Topics, Women

Slutty, With a Chance of Late Afternoon Whores

Suit #1, leaving: Nice out?
Suit #2, entering: Hot n’ humid!
Suit #1: Lots of sluts?

–Office building, 6th Ave

Overheard by: Non suit

Posted on July 11, 2006
Buildings, Hootchies, Manhattan, Office, People, Places, Suits, Topics, Weather

She Won’t Countenance Disrespect

Teen boy: I swear, I’m going to ejaculate on your countenance.
Teen girl: Dude, what the fuck?

–Central Park

Overheard by: notgoingtoask

Posted on July 10, 2006
Central Park, Manhattan, Sex, Teens

Compassionate Conservative

Black woman: You know that girl you bumped into? She was handicapped. And you didn’t say, “Excuse me.”
White boy: Um, she bumped into me.
Black woman: So, she’s handicapped. Is it her fault?
White boy: Shut the fuck up and go pick up your welfare check, you entitlement-addicted bitch.

–53rd & 5th

Posted on July 7, 2006
Black People, Etiquette, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Retards & Handicaps, White People

Oprah, to Hitman: Yeah, She’s About Eight, Eight and a Half. Blonde Hair, Green Eyes…

Little girl: Mom, look! I saw that lady on TV! That lady is on TV!
Mom: What lady? Where?
Little girl: That fat lady! That fat lady over there is on TV!

–Dinosaur BBQ, W 131st St

Overheard by: Alison R.

Posted on July 6, 2006
Diet/Weight, Fat People, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Manhattan, Moms, Parents, Pop Culture, Restaurants & Cafes, TV

A Soundtrack of Tinny Audio Leakage From Sixteen Million Earbuds

Boy #1: Damn it! I forgot my iPod.
Boy #2: Don’t worry. The city is a soundtrack in itself.

–44th & Broadway

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on July 2, 2006
iPod, Manhattan, Only in New York, Times Square

But It’s Just About Good Enough for an Open Casket

Annoyed friend: Yeah, I like what you did with your hair. Seriously, it’s a nice look for you.
Vain guy: Thanks. You know, I’m always amazed at how a good haircut can drive away the usual enthusiasm for suicide.
Annoyed friend: Hold on. It doesn’t look that good.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jeremiah