I Bet It Was an HMO

Guy #1: So when I started telling him my feelings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheelchair and started cursing me out. He was going on about his time in Vietnam and how there are things about war I’ll never understand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, “Whoa. You’re my shrink! I’m paying you to listen to me!”
Guy #2: Seriously.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was only $15. But anyway, I’m definitely not going back to him.

–Von, Bleecker & Elizabeth

Overheard by: Blondie

Posted on June 17, 2006
Anger Management, Bars & Clubs, Disabilities, Doctors, Iraq, Manhattan, Money & Class, Psychology, Retards & Handicaps, Union Square and East Village, War

They Don’t Have Delivery on Her Planet

Woman: Damn, that Mexican is hungry.
Mexican with 10 bags: I’m the delivery boy, you dumb fuck.

–100th & Broadway

Overheard by: robby b

Posted on June 15, 2006
Ethnic Food, Favorites, Food, Latinos, Manhattan, Mexicans, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, People, Places, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

Wednesday One-liners, Tough Love

Mom: You see? You almost hit that nice lady. Then she would have sued you and took all your PlayStation games

–N 12th & Bedford, Williamsburg

Overheard by: sonibug13

Mom: No, Cyrus! Don’t touch that! You have ringworm!

–Post office, Upper West Side

Posted on June 14, 2006
Brooklyn, Crime and Punishment, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, One-liners, Parents, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Williamsburg

Wednesday One-liners in Tails

Tux: You know my ex-boyfriend, right? Come on, you remember him. His sister was in jail with Amy Fisher?

–Therapy, 52nd & 9th

Tux: Stop singing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. That’s all I’ll ever ask of you.

–Tonys after-party for Jersey Boys, Hard Rock Cafe

Posted on June 14, 2006
About Celebrities, Arts & Letters, Bars & Clubs, Crime and Punishment, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, One-liners, Pop Culture, Restaurants & Cafes, Theater & Dance

Wednesday One-liners in Suits

Suit on headset: You know, I have been so gassy lately.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: yum

Suit on cell: Hey, I found this guy I thought I’d fix you up with, but I talked to Elliot and he said he wouldn’t cross the street to piss on him, he’s an ethical scumbag… Yeah, I know that’s what everybody says about Elliott.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ken

Posted on June 14, 2006
Dating, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Poop, Sex & Relationships, Suits

Wednesday One-liners Need a Tan

White dude: I’m blacker than the fucking poops you shit, son!

–Ditmas Ave

Latina: Shit, where’d all these white people come from?

–Ludlow St

Overheard by: Caroline McGraw

Posted on June 14, 2006
Brooklyn, Latinos, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, One-liners, Poop, White People

Gay Guys Prefer Hardwood

Girl #1: Ben’s hot, but I think he’s gay.
Girl #2: No way. Why?
Girl #1: He asked me if my carpet matches my drapes.
Girl #2: I don’t think he’s gay.
Girl #1: Oh yeah?
Girl #2: Call him up and tell him he can chew on your carpet!
Girl #1: What?

–Central Park

Posted on June 13, 2006
Body Parts, Central Park, Eating Out, Fashion, Manhattan, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships

If You Look Closely, You Can See Estelle Getty’s Nipples

Quasi-thug #1: So if I got the first season, you would watch it with me?
Quasi-thug #2: Fuck yeah. It’s the fucking Golden Girls, yo.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on June 13, 2006
Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pop Culture, Port Authority, Thugs, TV

One Too Many Tarantino Films

Girl: I did, I saw Uma Thurman in Les Mis.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis.
Girl: Not on stage, on TV.
Guy: She wasn’t in Les Mis on TV.
Girl: I thought it was her, or someone else with that cross-eyed look.

–42nd & 8th

Posted on June 13, 2006
About Celebrities, Arts & Letters, Body Parts, Fashion, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pop Culture, Theater & Dance, Times Square, TV

Is It Straight?

Guy #1: My ass is killing me.
Guy #2: Really? Mine feels alright.
Guy #1: Well, you weren’t doing what I was doing all day. It feels like someone ripped my ass off and stapled it back on.

–Paragon Sporting Goods, 17th & Broadway

Overheard by: ericaS

Posted on June 13, 2006
Body Parts, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Shopping, Sports, Union Square and East Village

Manhattan