Oldish lady #1: So, how have you been?
Oldish lady #2: Well, I just had a horrible experience! People always told me that ultrasounds were worse than childbirth, and I never believed them. You know, I never had children. But really! They were doing an ultrasound and I've never experienced anything more painful in my entire life! And then they couldn't find my gallbladder! It was horrible!
–37 Arts, W 37th St
Overheard by: hunterfosterspitsalot
Hot man, in consultative tone: Very underrated how taking a huge dump can improve your day.
Hot woman: Seriously!
Hot man: I have something for you. Something that will change your life. I'm completely serious. Have you ever tried Metamucil?
Hot woman: No.
Hot man: You will take the most massive dumps ever and feel great. It's like weightlifting for your bowels.
–26th & Madison Ave
Girl, trying to move through crowd: I always think of trying to get through crowds like being blood in a vein with clots in it.
Guy: Yeah. We need to get some Coumadin up in this joint!
–Farmers Market, Union Square
Overheard by: threadseven
Girl: If you want to get a feel for coke, chop up an aspirin and snort it up your nose. That should do it.
–Joseph’s on 49th Street
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Male Employee: No, that’s hemophilia. Hypoglycemia is, like, when your
body produces more sugar than your system can handle.
Female Employee: Yeah! That’s me!
–Lord & Taylor
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Woman walking in Stanley Park in Vancouver to the man with her: “Your serotonin levels seem really high today.”
Ma: She said, “OK, Mommy!”. She took it like an angel. She’s really good at taking medicine.
–D train
Kid on cell: So I rubbed it really hard and really fast… and I made her throw up.
–Marble Hill High School
Drinker to friend, while playing flip cup: I will throw up in your pussy wagon.
–Whiskey Tavern, Chinatown
Woman: I'm really glad it wasn't the Prozac making her throw up… just her other meds.
–33rd St & Park Ave
Girl: My uterus is vomiting!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Security guard: Oh, man, thank god for anti-depressants and alcohol! Nothing like Jack Daniels to get you through the day.
–The Met
Building security guard to mailman: Don't you think tv saved the world? Say you've got 10, 12, 14, 16 kids . . .
–William & Beekman
NYU security guard to long line of kids: A'ight kids, e-z passes out. Put your IDs in the air and wave them like you just don't care!
–College of Arts and Science, Washington Square Park
Security man: No photos in Tim Burton! No pictures, no photos! Tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell someone you don't like!
–Tim Burton Exhibit, MoMA
Security guard: Have a nice day… Now get the hell out of here.
–JFK Airport
Girl #1: Yeah, he had a heart attack.
Girl #2: Oh, wow, but can't you take something during a heart attack to stop it from happening?
Girl #2: No, you can't.
Girl #1: What about Bayer aspirin? I see those commercials all the time, and they say it stops heart attacks.
–3rd Ave & 46th St
