Hot man, in consultative tone: Very underrated how taking a huge dump can improve your day.
Hot woman: Seriously!
Hot man: I have something for you. Something that will change your life. I'm completely serious. Have you ever tried Metamucil?
Hot woman: No.
Hot man: You will take the most massive dumps ever and feel great. It's like weightlifting for your bowels.
–26th & Madison Ave
Girl, trying to move through crowd: I always think of trying to get through crowds like being blood in a vein with clots in it.
Guy: Yeah. We need to get some Coumadin up in this joint!
–Farmers Market, Union Square
Overheard by: threadseven
Girl: If you want to get a feel for coke, chop up an aspirin and snort it up your nose. That should do it.
–Joseph’s on 49th Street
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Male Employee: No, that’s hemophilia. Hypoglycemia is, like, when your
body produces more sugar than your system can handle.
Female Employee: Yeah! That’s me!
–Lord & Taylor
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Woman walking in Stanley Park in Vancouver to the man with her: “Your serotonin levels seem really high today.”
Ma: She said, “OK, Mommy!”. She took it like an angel. She’s really good at taking medicine.
–D train
Kid on cell: So I rubbed it really hard and really fast… and I made her throw up.
–Marble Hill High School
Drinker to friend, while playing flip cup: I will throw up in your pussy wagon.
–Whiskey Tavern, Chinatown
Woman: I'm really glad it wasn't the Prozac making her throw up… just her other meds.
–33rd St & Park Ave
Girl: My uterus is vomiting!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Security guard: Oh, man, thank god for anti-depressants and alcohol! Nothing like Jack Daniels to get you through the day.
–The Met
Building security guard to mailman: Don't you think tv saved the world? Say you've got 10, 12, 14, 16 kids . . .
–William & Beekman
NYU security guard to long line of kids: A'ight kids, e-z passes out. Put your IDs in the air and wave them like you just don't care!
–College of Arts and Science, Washington Square Park
Security man: No photos in Tim Burton! No pictures, no photos! Tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell someone you don't like!
–Tim Burton Exhibit, MoMA
Security guard: Have a nice day… Now get the hell out of here.
–JFK Airport
Girl #1: Yeah, he had a heart attack.
Girl #2: Oh, wow, but can't you take something during a heart attack to stop it from happening?
Girl #2: No, you can't.
Girl #1: What about Bayer aspirin? I see those commercials all the time, and they say it stops heart attacks.
–3rd Ave & 46th St
Girl to coughing guy: Dude… Go to the doctor. You sound like the heroine of La Boheme right before the end of the third act.
Guy: Whatever that means?!
Girl: Means you're about to die of tuberculosis. Everyone in opera seems to die of tuberculosis. I mean, unless it's opera buffa, in which case everyone just ends up getting married after first switching places with really inadequate disguises… (pause) Sorry, ignore me…
Guy: No, that was quite interesting, actually…
–Mannes College of Music
