College Student #1: Dude, how excited are you for Snakes on a Plane?
College Student #2: Snakes on a Plane? What's that about?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Vadim
College Student #1: Dude, how excited are you for Snakes on a Plane?
College Student #2: Snakes on a Plane? What's that about?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Vadim
White stoner chick: Yo, I love Beauty and the Beach. It's got such a like message.
Asian stoner chick: Like, what kind of message?
White stoner chick: About social justice. That's such a stoner thing to say right?
Asian stoner chick: That's such a Vassar stoner thing to say.
–79th & Columbus
Asian Guy #1: You know what I wanna watch?
Ditzy Asian Teen: What?
Asian Guy #1: Talladega Nights.
Asian Guy #2: The story of a man who could only count to one!
Ditzy Asian Teen: Really? There's a story like that?
–68th & Lexington
Overheard by: dog run
Small child #1: Look, they got toys out already and the movie isn't even out yet!
Small child #2: Yo, that's crazy gay!
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Tim
Girl: You have a rubber, right?
Guy (in Darth Vader voice): I find your lack of faith disturbing…
–Washington Square Park
Managerial-looking guy in suit in lobby of movie theater: So let me get this straight. Your pregnant wife left in the middle of the movie, but you're still here.
Husband: Yeah, but I gave her cab fare.
–84th & Broadway
Eight-year-old girl: Well, we could go to a movie for a date!
Mother: I don't know about that…
Eight-year-old girl (seriously): It's not like we're going to share popcorn!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: redefining childhood sweethearts
Conductor: Hey, partner, can we go? (static) We can't? Why the heck not? Hey, moron, get your ass in here! You're holding up a bunch of wonderful people! Wonderful New York commuters who don't need this kind of fucking bullshit at 3 on a Friday afternoon! (static) Yes, you! Keep pointing at yourself and my answer will keep being… Yes, it's you! Goddammit, get in the fucking train! I hate dealing with this! (long pause) You know what, make a decision: either cram your Rosie O'Donnell ass in or get the fuck out! Oh, look, he's in! (slow, sarcastic applause) Partner, we can bounce up on out of here now.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Train Wreck
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, for the next 250 years there will be track work on weekends. Don't say that no one told you.
–R Train
Overheard by: Mezz
Conductor: If you don't fit on this train kindly wait for the next B. (doors close) That was excellent, ladies and gentlemen, if you keep this up, we'll all be home really soon.
–B Train
Conductor, looking forward to the end of his shift: All right folks, this is your 6:07 train to New Haven stopping at 125th, then express to Stamford. We're off… (makes clippy-clop noises) Neeiiigghh!
–Metro-North Train
Overheard by: Amused passenger
Conductor: This is 125th Street, may the force be with you, next stop 86th Street.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Luke Skywalker
Conductor, after train goes through stop: Whoops! My bad. My bad.
–G Train
Overheard by: El David
Conductor, after train stops: Ladies and gentlemen, there is train traffic up ahead. We'll start moving as soon… (train starts moving) Oh, well, I guess that's cleared up. Weee!
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
