Tourist husband: Hey, look, a Starbucks.
Tourist Wife: Ooo…
–44th & 8th
Tourist husband: Hey, look, a Starbucks.
Tourist Wife: Ooo…
–44th & 8th
Girlfriend: Hey, there’s a Juilliard School in New York? I didn’t know that! There’s a Juilliard in Boston. It’s a music school.
Boyfriend: I don’t think there’s a Juilliard in Boston.
Girlfriend: Yes, there is! I went to it! The New York one must be, like, a branch of the Boston one. Like Penn State in New York or Ohio, or whatever.
–A train, 168th St
Overheard by: Girl in Juilliard T-Shirt
Conductor: This is a Brooklyn-bound R train… No! J train… This is a Brooklyn-bound N train. Next stop, DeKalb Avenue. [Passengers laugh.]
–N train, Canal St
Overheard by: Bridgettttttttt
Tourist: Is this 49th Street? Oh no, I think we’re at Times Square!
–Uptown R Train at Union Square
Overheard by: Limey
Lady on cell: I’m on the corner by the trash can and the lamp.
–Union Square
Man on cell: Wait, I’m on 4th and Broadway…Hey wait, are you me? Who are you?
–4th and Broadway
Guy on cell: Ey! Eeeey! What, like you can’t SEE me? I’m up heeeeh, waving my arms like an ingrate!
–Shea Stadium, upper deck
Overheard by: Infield Fly
Guy on cell: Yeah I’m here in the NYU park. We are gonna talk about feng shui. Not your feng shui, my feng shui.
–washington square park
Overheard by: ak
Guy on cell: I can see a big building, can you see a big building where you are?
–University and 8th Street
Chick: So, where are you from?
Guy: I’m from Brooklyn.
Chick: No, you have an accent.
Guy: Oh yeah, well, my parents are Eurotrash.
–Broad & Exchange
Man on cell: I’m at the bad Duane Reade right now… Yeah, the one on 14th street…I know that’s the good one, but it’s in danger zone.
–Duane Reade, 14th & 3rd
Overheard by: not in danger zone
Girl on cell: I’m in like the Middle East somewhere… Where are you?
–56th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: dnuggets
Hipster on cell: No, I swear to god I am not in Montreal!
–Outside Alligator Lounge, Williamsburg
Overheard by: miles
Lady yelling into pay phone, by platform: I’m in Yonkers! I’m right by the train!
–W 242 & Broadway, Bronx
Overheard by: Krisztina
Harried guy in suit on his cell: Yeah well, I’m at the Port Authority…I hear this is where the buses leave from.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: JoBell
Screaming man on pay phone: Yo -I told yo ass to meet me on 33rd and 5th. I be standin’ here and you ain’t here. [Pause.] What the fuck do you mean!? I be on da corner waiting for yo ass for the past fifty minutes. I only get an hour for lunch. Now you gone and messed up my day cuz yo ass ain’t show up. [Pauses, speaks more calmly.] I’m on da corner of 33rd and 5th. [Screaming again.] Don’t tell me yo ain’t see me! I’m standing right here!
–35th & Madison
Conductor: Borough Hall. Next stop, Heaven…excuse me, Nevins.
Woman: Um, should I get off here?
–5 train
Overheard by: James
Young boy: Daddy! We're going outside soon, yay!
Father: No we're not. We're going over the g line, we'll have to go to Hoyt Street underground, then switch to the f. Then we'll go outside.
Young boy: Why, daddy?
Father: Because it's the MTA.
–F Train
Overheard by: marc V
Girl: I’m going to have a boring weekend. I’m not really doing anything except one of my friends is guest bartending at this bar Coda on 34th street so I’m going to that.
Guy #1: I think I’ve been there.
Guy #2: Is that on the North or South side?
Girl: Oh I haven’t lived in New York to learn the New York lingo.
Guy #2: Well, there’s a North side and a South side of the street.
–43rd & 5th
Girl on cell: I mean is UPS trying to alienate all of New York City? Seriously!
–Prince & 6th
Guy: Is it wrong to break up with someone with a text message? No, right?
–Black and White Bar, 86 E. 10th St.
Overheard by: Andy De Mars
