Tourist: I'm sorry, this may be a dumb question, but is this the Museum of Natural History?
Guard: This is the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Tourist: Damn it!
–The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: WeeFee
Tourist: I'm sorry, this may be a dumb question, but is this the Museum of Natural History?
Guard: This is the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Tourist: Damn it!
–The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: WeeFee
Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street.
–14th St F station
Overheard by: Fidget
Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here?
–Subway sandwiches, Houston & Lafayette
Tourist woman, loudly: Jeany? How many stops are we going on this train?
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: nevermind
Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to Upper Town?
–Broadway & Worth
Overheard by: dukes
Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast?
–Ground Zero
Tourist: My plane doesn’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Statue of Liberty from here?
–La Guardia Airport
Overheard by: Jose Hernandez
Tourist, leading a group of more than a dozen fellow tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Seaport!
–Union Square
Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Empire State Building?
–Top of Empire State Building
Overheard by: englishman in new york
Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Statue of Liberty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a picture?
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
B&T girl #1: Ow, my ears just popped.
B&T girl #2: Yeah, that’s because we just went into the Lincoln tunnel.
–LIRR, East River
Preppy guy on cell: Where are you?…Malcolm X Boulevard & what?…Jesus. Find someone who looks nice and ask how to get to the 6 train…no, not a white person a nice person…well, a nice white person would be ideal…okay, call me back.
–86th & Lex
Drunk man: You know, garbage trucks are the diamonds of New York. Just… nobody knows they are in the rough.
–Bar, 1st & Houston
Overheard by: Csmith
Drunk, barefoot girl: The streets of New York aren’t that dirty… Right…?
–68th & 2nd
Mom to little kid in middle of sidewalk: Honey, please stand aside. These people are in a hurry — they’re New Yorkers.
–68th & Broadway
Angry woman on cell: New York is just as relaxing as Italy!
–81st & 3rd
Wannabe hipster chick: New York is so overwhelming. Let’s just live off our parents’ money forever!
–Sweet Paradise, Canal & Orchard
Overheard by: zp
Tourist husband: Hey, look, a Starbucks.
Tourist Wife: Ooo…
–44th & 8th
Girlfriend: Hey, there’s a Juilliard School in New York? I didn’t know that! There’s a Juilliard in Boston. It’s a music school.
Boyfriend: I don’t think there’s a Juilliard in Boston.
Girlfriend: Yes, there is! I went to it! The New York one must be, like, a branch of the Boston one. Like Penn State in New York or Ohio, or whatever.
–A train, 168th St
Overheard by: Girl in Juilliard T-Shirt
Conductor: This is a Brooklyn-bound R train… No! J train… This is a Brooklyn-bound N train. Next stop, DeKalb Avenue. [Passengers laugh.]
–N train, Canal St
Overheard by: Bridgettttttttt
Tourist: Is this 49th Street? Oh no, I think we’re at Times Square!
–Uptown R Train at Union Square
Overheard by: Limey
Lady on cell: I’m on the corner by the trash can and the lamp.
–Union Square
Man on cell: Wait, I’m on 4th and Broadway…Hey wait, are you me? Who are you?
–4th and Broadway
Guy on cell: Ey! Eeeey! What, like you can’t SEE me? I’m up heeeeh, waving my arms like an ingrate!
–Shea Stadium, upper deck
Overheard by: Infield Fly
Guy on cell: Yeah I’m here in the NYU park. We are gonna talk about feng shui. Not your feng shui, my feng shui.
–washington square park
Overheard by: ak
Guy on cell: I can see a big building, can you see a big building where you are?
–University and 8th Street
Chick: So, where are you from?
Guy: I’m from Brooklyn.
Chick: No, you have an accent.
Guy: Oh yeah, well, my parents are Eurotrash.
–Broad & Exchange
