Cashier: What can I get for you?
Black woman: I'd like a bagel, toasted. Can you do that? (cashier looks confused) Ya know, like my skin? Really dark?
Cashier: Uh, sure.
–Bagel Express
Overheard by: can you do it like my skin to?
Cashier: What can I get for you?
Black woman: I'd like a bagel, toasted. Can you do that? (cashier looks confused) Ya know, like my skin? Really dark?
Cashier: Uh, sure.
–Bagel Express
Overheard by: can you do it like my skin to?
Emo band boy to groupie hooking up with another band member: Ew! Gross guys, you guys are right next to me!
Groupie: You wanna join?
Emo band boy: So… then you two aren't exclusive?
–Metro North Train
Overheard by: NotAGroupie
Doctor #1: So when are you leaving for England?
Doctor #2: Oh, not till next week.
Doctor #1: Oh my god, then we can totally have a tea party!
–Children's Hospital
Overheard by: i want a tea party
Street hustler: Ladies, wanna get pregnant? Try angel.
Girl in group of three: Did he just ask if we wanted to get pregnant?
–36th & 7th
Overheard by: dani solina
Person #1: Just take your pants off and try… please?
Person #2: No, I don't want to.
Person #1: Then why are you holding yourself?
–FAO Schwartz, 5th Ave
Queer #1: Let's go see a movie.
Queer #2: Okay… What do you want to see?
Queer #1: Let's go see Milk.
Queer #2: Isn't that about a retarded man who becomes President?
–Cosi, 15th St
Drunk suburban girl: Come on! Let's go dance around in the fountain and take pictures of it! I love this city!
Begrudgingly sober suburban girl: Fuck this city. If we don't make the 12:37 back I'm going to drown you in that fountain.
–W 48th St
Irate gangster, following a scared-looking passenger: Excuse me, sir, would you like a wedgie? Sir! Excuse me! Would you like a wedgie?
–LIRR
Overheard by: Jane and Brian
Very fat man in suit: Excuse me, miss, could you move your bag so I could sit in that seat?
Thin girl: With all due respect, sir, even if I did move this bag, there's no way your fat ass will fit here.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: thinks he should try Weight Watchers
Headline by: JohnAustin
Runners-Up:
· “”Let Me Rephrase. Excuse Me, BITCH…”” – Paul Tabachneck
· “New Yorkers: Keeping It Real Since 1886” – Nicole
· “She’ll Be His First Target When He Becomes a Serial Killer” – Muse on the Loose
· “She’ll Gain 200 Pounds When She Gets Pregnant” – Vanessa
· “Southwest Airlines Has Already Made This Point” – Michellinator
· “Under a Fat Man, Nobody Can Hear You Scream” – Trey Jackson
· “Weigh Watchers Has a New Recruiting Campaign Called “Honesty”” – Lauren
Little boy in blue blazer and khakis: I'm having a party. You can come.
Little girl in flower dress: (keeps skipping rope)
Little boy: You can bring your Lego people!
–25th St & Broadway
