Small girl, seeing drunken man reeling down the street: Daddy, what's wrong with that man?
Father: I think he's just drunk a bit too much beer.
Small girl: Hannah's daddy likes beer.
Father: Yes, but if you drink too much of it, it can make you fall down.
Small girl: We should tell him!
Father: I think he probably knows.
Small girl: He might not!
–Times Square
Smashed male Yankees fan: Yeah, I am married. So what's the problem with your life?
Equally hammered female Yankees fan: I don't swallow, and I have two twenty-year-old twin boys.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Jabroni
Teenage boy #1: She had a hot body when I started fucking her, and now she lost it from having a baby!
Teenage boy #2: I never had to deal with that dilemma. Everyone I ever fucked already had babies before I got around to it.
–Brooklyn
Loud mother: So that's what this is about? Really?
Unhappy young son: (looks down, says nothing)
Loud mother: Really? That's what this is all about? An orange drink! This is all because of an orange drink?
Unhappy son: (looks down, says something barely audible)
Loud mother: I'm overreacting? You think I'm the one who is overreacting??
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: tycho anomaly
Balding guy: My nuns were into emotional abuse.
Old lady: That’s horrible. That’s what parents are for.
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: kathrine
Frat boy #1: Dude! Your sister is hot!
Frat boy #2: I know, dude…so is my mom.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Bone Cermark
Dad to four-year-old son: Okay, this is our stop.
Four-year-old son: I hate life.
Dad: What?
Four-year-old son: I hate life.
–1 Train
Overheard by: RAF
Young mother: You keep stepping on my flats! Ugh, I'm gonna kill you!
Teen girl: No you're not. If you didn't have me, you'd be a nun.
–Starbucks, 17th & Broadway
Overheard by: CreativeBunny
Woman on cell: Oh, and by the way, I called my mother to thank her. (pause) No, I said, "Mom, I'm calling on behalf of me and the girls to thank you very much." (longer pause) Well, she can just go fuck herself then.
–90th & Amsterdam Ave
Man on cell: You know a guy really likes a girl when he takes her home to meet his mom…and you know what, Sheila? You ain't never gonna meet my mom.
–South Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: smfd
Female college student to friend: We really need to cougarize your mom.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Oh really
Guy: So, hey, my mom didn't die today.
–W 26th & 8th
Overheard by: Katie_AK
Girl sneaking into open conductor's room in front of the train: Next stop, your mother's asshole! Stand clear of the closing cheeks!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Adriana
Handbag seller on street corner: Yo! Tell yo mama I got her bag right here!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Taryn
Girl on cell: Yeah, I'm bussin' it for now, my mom's on this thing that I have to show her responsibility… I know, it's like I get up in the morning, I haven't gotten arrested in a while, and I have a job, what more do you want from me?
–Seguine Ave & Waterbury, Staten Island
Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!
–Whole Foods, Tribeca
Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!
–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: EVgirl
Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.
–E 78th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Brandon F
4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: kdice
Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nina
