Smelly white teenager #1: Yo, man! I haven't been to school in over a week and a half. I've been just chillin' with my girlfriend.
Smelly white teenager #2: Oh, wow! Really?
Smelly white teenager #1: Yeah, I dunno what I'm gonna tell my parents–you know, when I first heard of the Passion of the Christ I thought it was a porno.
–Q58 Bus
Overheard by: Queens Girl
Little boy: Dad, can I try to fix your watch?
Dad: Wait until we get home.
Little boy, crying: You don't trust me with anything!
Dad: No, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just that fixing a watch is very hard. Not even David Blaine can replace a tiny screw on a crowded stretch of Broadway.
Little boy: Who's David Blaine?
–Broadway & Prince
Little girl: What's a credit card?
Father: That, you don't need to know.
–Wachovia ATM, Broadway & 10th St
Ghetto dad to little boy wearing knight's helmet: I don't know who the fuck's son you are, but I love you.
Little boy, muffled through helmet: I luf you do!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Father to son: Son, I love you, fuckface!
Son to father: I love you too.
–37th & 4th
Overheard by: Jonas Puer
Girl on cell: You told me that bitch was dead, but I just saw her in Key Food.
–Williamsburg
Middle school girl: No, he wasn't dead, but you'll never guess what happened.
–Penn Station
Man on phone: No! No! Do you hear me!? Listen! It's time to die!
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: J Harmony
Man on cell: I went back into the room 30 minutes later and he was still breathing! What are we going to do?
–8th & 34th
Overheard by: Bret B
Adorable three-year-old girl to mother: When I die you can have all of my shiny stuff!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Young son: Mom, you know I puke when you make me sit in the back of the bus.
Irritated Jewish mother: Just sit down.
Young son: Then… don't come crying to me when I throw up on you!
–M5 Bus
Little girl to mother: Look, mommy! The squirrels are black, like the people are!
Mother: Be quiet! That's rude! (to bystanders) She just learned colors in pre-school.
–Bronx Zoo
Little girl: Mommy, my tummy hurts!
Mom: That's what happens when you only eat nachos and Shirley Temples.
–74th & Columbus
Adorable four-year-old girl, singing: Daddy! Youuuuu/ you make me flyyy!
Doting father: Awwwwwww!
Adorable four-year-old girl: I farted.
–6th Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: Jessica
