Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.”
— W 83rd Post Office
Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.”
— W 83rd Post Office
Dad: Do you guys want Turkish food for dinner?
Teen girl: Yeah, I’m down.
Dad: …Is that good…or bad?
–83rd & Columbus
Overheard by: Sydney
Crazy guy: Pawns and shields. Pawns and shields and a meal ticket. That’s all kids are good for.
–L train
Overheard by: Thomas Byrd
A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone.
Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing!
He hangs up his imaginary phone.
Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much.
–Staten Island ferry
Drunk guy: You’re the best lookin’ thing in here.
Waitress: Number 1, I’m not a thing. Number 2, thanks!
–1849, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Chumbodonk
Guy hacks up a lung.
Girl: Are you a heavy smoker?
Guy: What do you mean by “heavy”?
Girl: Is smoking the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Guy: No, first, I cough. Then, I smoke.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: chrissy
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Girl: So wait, it’s garlic that you use?
Guy: Yes, who heard of scaring them with bologna?
Girl: Wasn’t it in that movie?…Oh wait, that was robots.
–Penn Station
Kid presses call button on commuter hotline phone.
Father: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what it was.
Father: If you do that again the police will arrest you.
Son: Really?
Father: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Father: He will kill you and put your picture on the Wall of Memories [Ground Zero feature].
–World Trade Center PATH station
Man: Why’d you read all my email?
Woman: I only did it once.
Man: Yeah, right. You mentioned whether I wrote to Barry about that girl from Canada out of the blue, where’d that come from?
Woman: Why would I lie?
Man: It’s against the law. You violated me. I’d never do that to you.
Woman: You’d do it.
Man: No.
Woman: You don’t get it.
Man: I do.
Woman: Here, read my email.
Man: No.
Woman: Read mine!
Man: Laina, no!
Woman: “I liked the way you touched me after yoga class–”
Man: Laina, it was a joke!
Woman: It’s not funny.
Man: It was a joke.
Woman: You fucked her! And what about Match.com girl? You gave her your home email.
Man: Please. When was this?
Woman: January. What is that? You want to screw other people? Why is that?
Man: Laina…it was a joke.
Woman: Oh, and what about this? “I love the way your long hair shakes down onto my chest. I will have to repay you soon.”
Man: I didn’t pay her a dime.
Woman: Two weeks later you went with me and my family to the Vineyard.
Man: You have every right to be upset. It was once, honey!
Woman: You told me you loved me!
Man: It was a joke.
Woman: You don’t joke like this with someone you used to fuck and still likes you.
Man: I didn’t fuck her.
Woman: She still likes you.
Man: Laina.
Woman: You’re sick, Nathan! You hear me?! You’re just sick!
–Cafe Pick Me Up, Avenue A
Overheard by: Gideon Wallace
