Speaker girl: Any questions?
Audience girl: Were you able to find out about how much women paid for the abortion procedures?
Speaker girl: About $200 a pop.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Julia Kite
Speaker girl: Any questions?
Audience girl: Were you able to find out about how much women paid for the abortion procedures?
Speaker girl: About $200 a pop.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Julia Kite
Bags woman: Ladies…Gucci, Prada, Louis! Ladies…
Hot dog guy: Ladies, get your Gucci hot dogs here…Prada hot dogs!
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Lori
Indian guy: Yo, I never told you I almost became a monk.
White guy: Shut up. You serious?
Indian guy: For real. I was this close. Before I applied for colleges, I checked out what you had to do to become a monk.
White guy: I couldn’t picture you as a monk. You don’t even go to church.
Indian guy: I know, right? I found out that they don’t allow piercings so I never applied.
–6 train
Overheard by: Yasmin Henning
Guy #1: She’s really religious, she even goes to a Jesuit school.
Girl #1: Oh! Like JTS?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: What? Isn’t Jesuit another word for Jewish? Like Orthodox or something?
Guy #1: Um, no.
–Columbia University
Conductor: Chambers Street-World Trade Center will be the next and last stop on this train.
Man: Can’t be next and last stop. Either it’s the next stop or the last stop!
–E train
Overheard by: Alan H.
Guy: Dude, no one uses “hobo” in a sentence anymore.
–McCoy’s Bar, 9th Avenue
Asian girl: So he gave me directions to go meet him.
White guy: What? I ain’t goin there, that neighborhood is all Cripped out! I ain’t about to get shot!
Asian girl: Look, I can call a car service to pick us up at the train station if it’s that big of a deal.
White guy: Naw, I’m kiddin’, I’ll just stab ’em with a pen.
–Walgreens, 4th Avenue
Lady lawyer: Hey, what animal year are you?
Boy attorney #1: The monkey, I think.
Boy attorney #2: Dude, chimpanzees freak me out after seeing Outbreak.
Boy attorney #1: That was a monkey, not a chimpanzee.
Lady lawyer: The thing I don’t like about monkeys is their butts.
–Office, East 45th Street
Woman: He wants the pad tai with chicken, no vegetables.
Man: I can’t have vegetables. My vegetarian wife just left me.
–Tai Hong Lau, Mott Street
Overheard by: Amie
Girl #1: Oh no, I can feel my pulse in my neck!
Girl #2: You can always feel your pulse in your neck, douchebag.
Girl #1: No, but it’s, like, really strong.
–Washington Square Park
Bag lady: I have osteoporosis.
Hobo: Ostoprognosis? Is that serious?
Bag lady: Well, I might die from it. It makes you boneless. I have no bones. Like a Perdue chicken.
Hobo: So it turns you into a skeleton!
–2 train
Guy: I wish I could turn my fat into gold.
–18th & 5th
Overheard by: basselope
Old cashier lady: Sixteen years ago they gave me 72 hours to live. I only have three arteries in my heart.
Old customer lady: How many are you supposed to have?
Old cashier lady: Four.
Old customer lady: Oh. That’s not that bad…
–Stop and Shop, Astoria
Overheard by: Dan
