Suit: Dan, I said you were supposed to dress up for the bake sale.
Dan: I'll let you know that I only have two genres of clothing in my closet: Shorts and t-shirts…and a priest costume. And the priest costume is a dress!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
Male tourist: Supposedly they are trying to change their image.
Woman tourist: To what? Less slutty?
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Alyx
20-something Asian girl: She's a freak. She's made out with a 65-year-old Chinese man.
20-something Dutch girl: Maybe he looked 40 then.
20-something Asian girl: He's still 65.
20-something Dutch girl: Hey, age ain't nothing but a number!
20-something Asian girl: What?!
20-something Dutch girl: No, actually that is not okay. He even has a special Metrocard so he can ride the subway for a discount.
–11th & Ave C
Overheard by: CM
JAP #1: Oh my gosh. Have you seen her lately?
JAP #2: No… Why?
JAP #1: She got fat!
JAP #2: Oh my god, but she moved to Westchester.
JAP #1: I know. I mean, what else is there to do there?
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: jappygirl#3
Guy #1: Getting old is not cool, man. I walked in on my mom in the shower once, it was gross…her boobs go down to her fucking knees.
Guy #2: No, they don't.
Guy #1: Yeah, what the fuck do you know?
(pause)
Guy #2: So, remember that party where she got drunk and smoked that salvia?
–14th St
Guy #1: You must be Italian.
Guy #2: Uh…no, I'm Jewish.
Guy #1: Are you sure? You really look Italian.
Guy #2: Of course I'm sure. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Guy #3: I don't like where this is going.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jenya
JAP #1: Oh my god, did you hear about what Aaron wrote on Brittany's Facebook wall?
JAP #2: Oh my god, yeah, that's like, disgusting. Like, she looks like a fucking koala.
JAP #1: Totally. Like, who wants to date a tree climbing marsupial?
JAP #2: Fuck no! I'd rather kill my brother!
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Customer holding $300 worth of lighting equipment: You know, if you want to give me a discount that would be totally fine with me.
Only non-hasidic employee in sight: Sorry sir, its not my store…I don't even have the right haircut.
–BH Photo
45-year-old woman: So I ended up shaving it, and it looks so pretty! It's like I'm ten years old again!
–Houlihans Restaurant
Overheard by: remembers when she was ten years old
Girl on cell: Wait. The dad shaves the son's ass?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Guy in shower to guy in the next: Man, I am never shaving my pubes again.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Guy with a bunch of tattoos: The sex was great, but she was psychotic. Every time I shaved she would accuse me of having had oral sex with another woman.
–86th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alan
British woman on cell: Are you shaving? Your face or your balls?
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Just around
Old German man: Last night those people were staring at us. All of them, staring!
Old American woman: Yeah, they were. I wonder why.
Old German man: I bet they were German too, I wonder if they could tell I was German.
Old American woman: You were dressed pretty classy.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Jake
