Physical appearance

Male ticket taker: Anyway, I can't keep a guy for more than three days. I don't have a personality. I have looks.
Female ticket taker: Aw, come on. Believe me, you have a personality.
Male ticket taker: Yeah, an annoying one!

–AMC Loews, Lincoln Square

Chick: Excuse me, sir?
Butch female worker: Yes?
Chick: Oh…sorry.

–23rd & 6th

Maternal woman to 14-year-old girl: My, aren't you looking sexy!
Random creepy guy: She ain't wrong!

–Bayview Place, Staten Island

Overheard by: now I want a mental shower

Guy #1: Hey…Sam?
Guy #2: No…Sam’s my brother.
Guy #1: Oh…sorry. Dude, you look just like him.
Guy #2: Well, we’re brothers.
Guy #1: Me and my brother don’t look anything alike.
Guy #2: Huh. Guess your mother was a whore.

–37th & 3rd

Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.

–PATH Train

Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!"

–4th & 10th

Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine.

–E 11th St

Overheard by: j

Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"!

–Bedford & 6th St

Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.

–Borders, Wall St

Overheard by: step

Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!

–Outside Barrymore Theatre

Overheard by: Pasta…Salad

Man #1, sounding exasperated: Some women are so beautiful that I can't–I just can't even look at them.
Man #2: I know. Beauty hurts.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Evan

Female hipster #1: Oh my god, I love your haircut!
Female hipster #2: Thanks…I asked for a mix of Suri Cruise, Anna Wintour and Nicole Richie circa 2005.

–27th St & 7th St

Girl: So were they good-looking? Can you even tell if a guy is good-looking?
Guy (clueless, shrugging shoulders): I don't know! They were English!

–77th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Chick: Does she think that looks hot?
Friend: She’s ten.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Jax

Salesguy: Would you ladies like to come in? Can I help you find anything?
Chick #1: Oh, no thanks.
Chick #2: The perfume's too much for us.
Salesguy: You could hold your noses.
Chick #2: Uh, I think we'd pass out eventually.
Chick #1: Yeah, you don't want that. Ambulances are bad for business.
Salesguy: I've always wanted to ride in the back of an ambulance!
Chick #2: Um…
Chick #1: Actually, it's a bit of a role reversal. We're waiting for my husband to finish shopping.
Salesguy: Oh, which one is your husband?
Chick #1: He's right there.
Salesguy: The one with the ponytail? Looks like a vampire? Hot.
Chick #1: Uh, yes, that's him.
Salesguy: Boy, you're one lucky lady.
Chick #1: I know. Thanks.
Salesguy: Hey, does he have a brother?
Chick #1: Yes.
Salesguy: Just kidding. Does he have a sister?
Chick #1: No.
Salesguy: Oh. Well, I was still kidding. You sure you don't want to come in?

–Outside The Body Shop, 76th & Broadway

Overheard by: Rose Fox