Guy with friend (hurriedly): Are you guys shutting down anytime soon?
Free haggis cart guy: No, no, we'll still be here.
Guy with friend: Good, 'cause we got a buddy comin' over from work.
Free haggis cart guy (with some enthusiasm): Is your friend Scottish or something?
Guy with friend: No, he's depressed. But we figured some haggis would cheer him up.
Free haggis cart guy: Oh.
–51st & Broadway
Overheard by: fat bastard
20-something girl: So was he like that in real life?
20-something guy: Yeah. Everyone loved Mr Rogers. No one was like, “He's really a bitch,” like with Rachael Ray.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Quilty
Drunk girl #1: So how are you feeling?
Drunk girl #2: A little disoriented…I've been upside down for awhile.
–Bathroom, John St. Bar
Overheard by: Jillian
Screaming child: Mommy, I want to go home!
Disgruntled employee: You think you have problems?! Try graduating from art college in the middle of a recession! Then you can cry!
–H&M Store
Chick about cute guy standing: So, his penis… Big, small, doody ball?
Queer: Umm… It's good…slightly larger than doody ball.
Chick: Oh…good.
–Q Train
Overheard by: ShayaKNYC
College guy #1: Wanna see the best dildo ever?
(shows a digital camera screen to his friend)
College guy #2: Awesome, did you sit on it?
College guy #1: No, but Alissa did, her pussy is so wide.
College guy #2: So true.
–F Line
Teen girl #1: So yeah, like…Paris Hilton totally got kicked out of our school for doing coke too!
Teen girl #2: Paris Hilton went to our school?!
Teen girl #1: Bitch, this isn't about Paris… All I can say is: How cool is it that I got kicked out of the same school as Paris Hilton did, for the same reason?
Teen girl #2: Wait, you got kicked out?
Teen girl #1: Why the fuck do you think I'm not in class anymore?
Teen girl #2: Everyone thought you were pregnant again.
–Park Bench, 89 & CPW
(large Russian woman walks by and says hi)
Old Jewish guy #1: Waddya think of her? She's Russian, right?
Old Jewish guy #2: Yeah, yeah, you can tell. I don't go for that, though. She's a big broad, real chunky. She's like a big tomato.
–Sheep's Meadow, Central Park
Overheard by: makes me hungry…
(family stands facing the empire state building)
Tourist son: Mom, which one is the Empire State Building?
Tourist mom: I think it's the one with the circley top. (points to the Chrysler Building)
Tourist dad: No, honey, it's the one way out there, on the water.
Tourist son #2: That's the Statue of Liberty. (to no one in paritcular) I can't believe I'm part of this fucking family.
–Top of the Rock
Overheard by: Melissa
Man at McDonald's drive-Thru: I'll have a #1 with a Diet Coke please.
Employee: Anything else?
Man: Nope, that's it. And this is all to go.
Employee: Ya think?
–McDonald's, Bayside
