Girl: Would you pay me $250 an hour tonight to have sex with me?
Guy: No! You're my sister!
–PATH Train
Girl: Would you pay me $250 an hour tonight to have sex with me?
Guy: No! You're my sister!
–PATH Train
Asian chick: Yeah, we're sisters!
White chick: Don't you mean “sistas”?
Asian chick: Oh, yeah, right.
White chick: Why is it I have to teach you ghetto language when I am the least ghetto person I know?
Homeless guy: What's wrong with the ghetto?
White chick: Nothing's wrong with the ghetto. I'm just not from there.
Homeless guy: The biggest dicks are in the ghetto!
–33rd St & 3rd Ave
Girl #1 to girl #2: You are like, the epitome of a Connecticut girl.
Queer friend: Yeah, you really are.
Girl #1: I mean, how many pairs of Uggs do you own?
Girl #2: (flicks her hair behind her shoulder, embarrassed) I don't know.
(general chuckling)
Queer friend, laughing: Don't worry, hon, I have two!
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Jew boy: So wait… When Israelis talk to boring people they're just like, “You're boring. I hate you.”?”
Jew chick (nodding enthusiastically): Yeah!
–87th & Lexington
Overheard by: MacDutchman
Girl: 12 son!
Guy: What?
Girl: That's my number.
Guy: Who was the 12th?
Girl: Some guy that picked me up off the side of the road, literally.
Guy: Well, did he at least pay you for it?
Girl: No, I felt bad that he had to take me home, so I paid him… with my vagina.
–Central Park
Overheard by: it's as good as cash
Unenthusiastic 20-something girl: So, uh, he’s officially my boyfriend now.
Friend: So does that mean you are officially putting out now?
–49th St & 8th Ave
Headline by: kk
Runners-Up:
· “Facebook Decides to Expand the ‘It’s Complicated’ Option” – betty
· “I Guess I’m Officially Cheating on Him Now Too” – Chris
· “No, He’s Still Getting Laid Under the Table” – Professor Coldheart
· “No, That’s Still Unofficial. I’m Catholic.” – c
· “Once My PR Puts Out the Media Release.” – winnie
· “When Government Overregulates” – Vasyl
Girl #1: I don't know where he met her. All I know is that she can't play charades for shit and she's half Greek.
Girl #2: What do you mean she cant play charades? And I thought she was from Argentina.
Girl #1: Whatever. The point is, I take charades really seriously. How the hell do you act out The Cosby Show? Who comes up with that?
Girl #2: Wow. That's amazing.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Female baggage handler to male colleague: I don't drink tequila no more. That's how I got my first kid.
–LaGuardia Airport
Very impressed girl on cell: Whoa! You actually remembered her name this time? Were you not drunk?
–12th St & University Place
Overheard by: Mr. Hedge
Seemingly sober grad student: Let's face it. We'll be drunk in (checks watch) fifteen minutes.
–Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
NYC police officer: How hard can it be to find a drunk person on this floor?
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Vanessa
Girl with drink, to friends: This will have to be my last one, guys, I have to go babysit.
–Greenwich Ave & Charles Street
Overheard by: Jodi
Man: Why do you always have to bring that up?
Woman: Oh, come on, your penis is huge! It's one of the biggest I've ever seen! (gestures with hands)
Man (looking around nervously): Are you crazy? We're in a public place!
Woman: What? No one is listening.
–Lumi Restaurant
Girl: He sucks at his job. How does he not get fired?
Friend: He probably uses the kid card.
Girl: The what?
Friend: You know, the “Oh, look at my kid!”
–Astor Place & Broadway
Overheard by: christine y0
