Now Are Those Lampposts or Trees?

Blonde Swedish bimbette in very light drizzle: Where’s that water coming from?!
Friend: It’s the man with a bucket in the sky…
Blonde Swedish bimbette: Oh, I thought it was sewer water or something.

–Houston & 2nd

Overheard by: In tribute

Posted on April 12, 2008
Bimbettes, Default, Foreigners, Friends, Questions, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Weather, Weirdness

That’s What She Said! (We Had to Go There.)

Guy, listening to ambiguous sound: Was that your face or your ass?
Girl: That was my vagina.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Chelsea

Posted on April 12, 2008
Etiquette, Girls, Guys, Questions, Vagina, Weirdness

Isn’t That, Like, Lesbionic?

Bimbette from Staten Island #1: If you got a sex change then you could play with yourself.
Bimbette from Staten Island #2: I can already do that.
Bimbette from Staten Island #1: Really, how?

–Wagner College

Overheard by: thrilled to be going to the same school

Posted on April 11, 2008
Bimbettes, College, Masturbation, Questions, Sexuality, Staten Island, Stupidity

But I Thought You Were Gay!

Cute girl: No, I swear that coat was pink.
Clearly gay guy: It was not pink [glances down.]Cute girl: Is there something pink…I mean… Did you just look at my boobs?!
Clearly gay guy: I mean, they’re right there.

–Zara, 5th Ave

Overheard by: rach

Posted on April 11, 2008
Clothing, Colors, Girls, Nipples, Queer guys, Questions, Store, Union Square and East Village

I’ve Drawn Up Some Diagrams -Could You Check Them for Accuracy?

Queer: I want to have sex with a girl.
Girl, laughing: Any particular girl? Or just any girl?
Queer: Any girl. I’ve been watching a lot of straight porn and it seems interesting.

–NYU

Posted on April 11, 2008
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, NYU, Porn, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Wishes & desires

Guess We’re Not Eating Today, Huh?

Six-year-old boy: I’m excited! Pizza, pizza, pizza!
Father: How do you spell “pizza”?
Six-year-old boy: P…I… Z… Z… O?
Father: Close, son. Try again.
Six-year-old boy: F?
Father: No…
Six-year-old boy: Q? G? L? [starting to cry.] I just don’t know!

–110th & Broadway

Posted on April 11, 2008
Boys, Crying, Dads, Education, Kids, Offers and requests, Parents, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

Most Women Are Incapable of Neutral Communication

Hot soccer mom: Yesterday his mother actually asked me if I own a can opener! Do you believe that? What a bitch. She lives to put me down.
Friend: Wait… So you do own a can opener?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: that girl

Posted on April 11, 2008
Anger Management, Friends, Insults, Moms, Penn Station, Questions

Who Knew Getting to Grandmother’s House Would Be This Hard?

Chick, a little buzzed: Fleetwood, crestwood, woodlawn … There’s so much wood on this train I can’t concentrate.
Boyfriend: [stares at her wide-eyed].
Chick: Oh my god, did I just say that?
Boyfriend: Yes, and at least five guys heard it.
Random guy: I’m one.

–Metro North

Overheard by: I’m two