Drunk hobo to pretty girl: You are not pretty, you are not beautiful, and no one likes you.
Pretty girl, after hobo leaves train: Why do I live in this city?!
–4 train
Drunk hobo to pretty girl: You are not pretty, you are not beautiful, and no one likes you.
Pretty girl, after hobo leaves train: Why do I live in this city?!
–4 train
Guy to girl: I never hooked up when I was blacked out.
Hobo: You never blacked out from liquor?! I’m about to!
–23rd & 2nd
Male conductor over the speakers: This is the express train! Next stop: Roosevelt Avenue.
Female conductor over the speakers: Shit, this is the express?!
–E train, Queens Plaza station
Hobo: Can I have some?
Teen eating apple: No.
Hobo: Thank you.
Teen: … Ow, my conscience.
–6 train station
Overheard by: Annie
Girl maker-outer, pulling away: Why you so ugly?
Guy maker-outer: Don’t you worry ’bout that, baby. [They continue making out.]
–F train
Overheard by: steph
Dude: No way!
Friend: Why? You never peed at a firehouse?
–W 19th & 7th
Girl: So, do you know anything about the Holocaust?
Roommate: Like what?
Girl: I don’t know — like, fun facts or something?
–Dorm, Columbia
Dude: So, did you ever wear a condom in Haiti?
World traveler guy: No.
Dude: Were you scared?
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Not Going to Haiti
Coworker #1: Is it just me, or are the rats in New York getting smaller? Seriously!
Coworker #2: Maybe you’re just getting bigger.
–D train platform, Rockefeller Center
Guy to cooks: So, do you guys just sit around all night making up medieval names for each other?
–Pizza shop, 2nd Ave & St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: mangledorf
Nerd on cell: I waited five years to get a girlfriend, and I finally got one and I just couldn’t take it!
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 14th St
Overheard by: Jo
Chick on cell: Whoa, did I just refer to Voldemort in a romantic context? What is happening to me?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Dork: Wow, 200 points of magic! Well, that would truly be a day of sorcery.
–LIRR
NYU student: So, Yoda is more masculine than Sophocles?
–NYU
Overheard by: waphle
