Asian queer, looking over his shoulder: I think I jerked him off.
Italian queer: Who?
Asian queer: That guy in the green shirt… It’s pretty bad when you can’t keep track of all the people you’ve jerked off.
–Union Square
Asian queer, looking over his shoulder: I think I jerked him off.
Italian queer: Who?
Asian queer: That guy in the green shirt… It’s pretty bad when you can’t keep track of all the people you’ve jerked off.
–Union Square
Fat guy: I love you.
Cute girl: Do you really mean what you say, or are you just saying it?
Fat guy: Of course I mean it. [They make out, then chick leaves.] What a dumb bitch.
–W4 station
Overheard by: Ting
Fag hag: So, how’s your hot cousin?
Queer: He’s dating this girl now… She’s cute, tall… Looks like Katie Holmes — has the same look on her face.
Fag hag: What look is that?
Queer: You know — sad.
–Nederlander Theatre
Overheard by: Crazy Legs Freddy
Professor, as student’s phone rings in class: Wow, that was loud. What band is that by?
Student: Well, I don’t remember what the song is called, but it’s by Panic! at the Disco.
Professor: Hmmm… I once panicked at the disco…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Customer: Do you sell Lacoste here?
Sales associate: No, but they have a door right down on Spring Street.
Customer: How do I get there?
Sales associate: You go out our front door, make a right, and at the intersection make a left and the Lacoste store is right around the corner.
Customer: And they sell Lacoste there?
–Bloomingdales, Soho
Girl: You wanna know something really, really, really fucked up?
Guy: What? Having sex with people?
–Mercer & Greene
Overheard by: waphle
Salon receptionist calling man in waiting room: David*, you can pre-pay now.
David: I am here for a touch-up. I don’t have to pay this time.
Salon receptionist: Oh, that’s right — what are you getting re-touched, again?
David: My buttocks… Y’know, my butt.
–7th Ave South & Greenwich Ave
Man on phone: I thought you were calling to tell me you’re getting married. That would have been terrible.
–45th & 8th
Overheard by: Lisa
Metromosexual on cell: Lady-fag and Rainblow Brite are getting married.
–Bedford & 5th, Brooklyn
Little Asian girl talking on toy cell: What? Tomorrow? Marry you?!
–Waiting room, Ft Greene Department of Health
Overheard by: nooners
Angry woman to loser husband: If you want this marriage to work, we need to move to Baltimore.
–Starbucks, 59th & Lex
Girl on cell: No, I don’t think sleeping with her again will help… Because, honestly, you shouldn’t be sleeping with anybody else… I mean, Jesus Christ, we are engaged!
–Starbucks, 23rd & 6th
Man to woman: So, he told you he wasn’t dating anybody, but he didn’t tell you he was married?
–11th & Broadway
Lady yuppie: I mean, at first I thought he was seriously psycho, but then I started to think, Maybe he’s just being creative…
–Outside NY Public Library
Overheard by: Miss_Rach
Black guy to himself: I’m not like the rest of you — I’m just an ordinary loon!
–52nd & 3rd
Overheard by: what?
Hobo: Does anybody have Amy Fisher’s phone number? I love crazy chicks!
–R train
Old woman to middle-aged woman: You have to walk on the crazy side of the street.
–2nd & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: D-Law
Lady to another, pointing at Borough Hall: Is that place a mental institution?
–Stuyvesant Pl, outside SI Borough Hall
Toddler in stroller: I… Want… Ball!
Young mother: Oh, like you’ve been good and now you deserve a ball? Are you kidding me?
–Duane Reade, 8th & Broadway
