Foreign guy: No, there’s too many people on line to return.
American guy: Why don’t you put it in the drop box?
Foreign guy: I can’t do that!
American guy: Yeah, you can even leave it in the box outside.
Foreign guy: But how will they know it’s me?
–Blockbuster Videos, Chelsea
Overheard by: no one was on line for returns
Woman #1: Why don’t you get a child of your own?
Woman #2: Girl, I already gots a car.
–Century 21, Cortlandt St
Girl: So, if you had to pick between a longer foot and a flipper foot, what would you choose? How about one big merman fin?
Guy: Wait, are these options?
–1 train
Overheard by: Yesenia
Girl #1: That was really fun. We should do it again really soon.
Girl #2: Okay, great! Like when?
Girl #1: I dunno. I was just sayin’.
–13th St
Overheard by: Jordan Green
Man, yelling: I love this woman! I love this woman!
Woman: So where’s the ring?
–51st & 7th
Overheard by: kt
Overweight hobo: The only things I look forward to in life are mayonnaise and sex!
–57th & 7th
Woman on cell: When sex turns into math, you’ve got trouble on your hands.
–Union Square
Overheard by: McFreaky
Chick, screaming into cell: What a bitch! I swear, it’s getting harder and harder to fuck your co-worker and get away without people finding out!
–JFK
Overheard by: Pixie
Realist on cell: Well you can’t expect every guy you sleep with to call you back.
–53rd & 6th
Man to female date: So, basically, you sleep with people out of hilarity?
–St Mark’s & 2nd
Overheard by: Diane
Business woman: No, I told her I’d rather have sex with my husband than buy her products. And then she hung up on me.
–Chipotle, 22nd & 6th
Hipster girl: What’s up with all the Jews for Jesus stuff everywhere?
Hipster guy: I don’t know. I think Jews just try to adopt whatever’s mainstream and will make them money.
–A/C/E underpass, Times Square station
Overheard by: Al
Thug, to his friend: Yo, there are mad bitches in this hood. Why you eyeballin’ me?
–73rd & York
Overheard by: I was eyeballin’ him too
Dude: I can’t believe that sausage fest! There were no females up in that bitch!
–103rd & Lex
Overheard by: robin b
Lady: You know what the difference between her and Lonny is? She’s nice, and Lonny’s a bitch.
–Tennis courts, Central Park
B&T boyfriend, calling angrily out the window of his car: Bitch, I love you!
–White St, between Lafayette & Canal
Man to old blind lady: Watch where you’re going, bitch!
–12th St & 6th Ave
Guy, laughing at friend who dropped his coffee: That’s gravity, bitch!
–49th & 8th
Queer on cell: Oh my God, she, like, worships me…Yeah, I know, I’m totally the best thing that ever happend to her…Oh, no, I can’t stand her. She’s a total skanky bitch, bitch, bitch!
–Peanut Butter & Co, Sullivan St
Chick #1: Do you have a safety pin?
Chick #2: What’s a safety pin?
Chick #1: Are you serious?
Chick #2: Yeah, I mean, what’s the difference between a safety pin and a paper clip? I know they both hold shit together, but, like, what’s the difference?
–23rd & 1st
Overheard by: Carly
Woman on crowded elevator, screaming into her cell: And she know I’m a private person, so why she be sharin’ all that information like that?!
–E 26th St
Overheard by: Peter Horan
