Old woman inside apartment: You gotta come here and look at this!
Old man: Do I gotta put my pants on to come see it?
–80th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jo
Old woman inside apartment: You gotta come here and look at this!
Old man: Do I gotta put my pants on to come see it?
–80th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jo
Compassionate chick, looking at homeless cats: Oooh, look at this one. It only has one eye. What happened?
Kitten rescue volunteer: Oh, it lost an eye.
–72nd & Columbus
Optimist queer: You should be happy. Not all the people in the world are out to get you. Why not just be nice?
Pessimist queer: Whenever I’m nice to people, they spit in my eye, fuck me up my ass, and kick it all the way to Siberia.
Optimist queer: So when was the last time someone fucked you up your ass?
Pessimist queer: An hour ago.
–Sutphin & Hillside, Jamaica
Overheard by: ting
Chick #1: You know what today is a perfect day for?
Chick #2: Shopping?
Chick #1: No. Gaelic football!
–87th & 2nd
Foodie: Have you ever been to China Grill?
Non-Foodie: Is that Cuban food?
–62nd & Broadway
Headline by: clarence rosario
Runners-Up:
· “You’re Confusing ‘Boat People’ With the ‘Cardboard Raft’ People” – Jo Jo
· “Close, But No Cigar” – andrew harrison
· “Con-Fusion Cuisine” – Greg Costello
· “Either Way You Feel Oppressed Again an Hour Later.” – Syd O
· “May I Take Your New World Order?” – jason daniel
· “Michelin Should Have Never Named it the Red Guide” – Fes
· “Public-School Geography Teachers Do Lunch.” – Doctor Whom
· “Sum Dim People Think So” – Constant Irritant
Woman on cell: When you assume, you make an ass of yourself.
–4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark
Hipster: Yo, what’s up with Filene’s Basement? That shit’s on the top floor!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Tourist: Is that the Enron building?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Robyn
Tourist to security guard: Are these all originals?
–Impressionist Gallery, the Met
Overheard by: j-diddy
Female tourist: I could never live in Central America because I’d miss the ocean.
–Restaurant bathroom, Little Italy
Overheard by: Olia
Girl looking at subway map: What about that thing, that star–“You are here”? They don’t have that?
–(Moving) uptown 1 train, 59th St
Overheard by: Jo
White hipster girl: Is black semen black?
–86th & Park
Chick #1: What the hell is that?
Chick #2: The placenta.
Chick #1: What’s a placenta?
–Bodies exhibit, Fulton St
Middle-aged man #1: So you married her, right?
Middle-aged man #2: Yeah, I married her. I married the hell out of her.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Costa
Police cruiser stops on 8th Ave by a group of black teens.
Loudspeaker: What are you doing there?
Black teens: [inaudible]Loudspeaker: OK, but no hands.
One teen takes three long strides and leaps on top of a mailbox, wobbles precariously, touches one finger on a wobble, and stands straight up.
Loudspeaker: Used your hands.
–34th & 8th
