Bartender: Are you getting her anything for Valentine's Day?
20-something guy: Probably not.
Bartender: Nothing? Flowers? Anything?
20-something guy: What am I supposed to do? Send a note that says “thanks for fucking me”?
–57th St
Bartender: Are you getting her anything for Valentine's Day?
20-something guy: Probably not.
Bartender: Nothing? Flowers? Anything?
20-something guy: What am I supposed to do? Send a note that says “thanks for fucking me”?
–57th St
Girl: …because I feel like we’re going out. It’s just that he won’t call me.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, E 14th St
Overheard by: MK
Homegirl to boyfriend: No, no, that’s not what I said, that’s what you heard.
–1st & Ave B
Overheard by: Mollena
Girl: In the last few years, every time I go away to Paris with someone, I end up breaking up with them.
–San Loco, 7th St & 2nd Ave
B&T girl #1 to B&T girl #2: If you lived in NYC, you’d totally find a boyfriend. You totally, totally would.
–LIRR to Penn Station
Overheard by: Pia Peanutbuttas
Sassy chick: I was having a glass of wine with him, and he didn’t have anything to say to me. So I licked his ear.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Shrewd observer: That’s not dating. It’s called being on parole.
–West Building, Hunter College
Woman on cell: Well, I happen to like our Goddamn relationship, thank you very much!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Mike
Hobo: What you got?! What you got!? What you got?!
White frat boyfriend: I got hos, yo!
White sorority girlfriend: Hey!
White frat boyfriend: I’m not talking about you. I just mean in general.
–33rd & 7th
Angry 20-something woman: The main problem is that our whole relationship is just about your dick.
30-something man, carrying loads of shopping bags: Well, it's about your pussy too.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: itgoesandgoes
Girl #1: You guys only dated a month, you can't really call that a relationship.
Girl #2: Well, I wanted to marry him.
Girl #1: I hate when that happens.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Queer #1: Well, it’s because they have an open relationship and it seems that Dan is the only one who takes advantage of the openness a lot.
Queer #2: So is it love, because there’s mutually acceptable whoring? It could be love, you know. There’s consensus.
–L train
Girl #1: I mean, when you think about it, he’s really not that good looking, and kind of an asshole. I don’t even know why I’m so attracted to him.
Girl #2: Because he’s here…and you’re you.
–Starbucks, 45th & Lexington
Overheard by: Anne O.
Witness #1: Damn, he slapped the shit out of her.
Witness #2: Use your phone and call the cops.
Witness #1: Hell no. You saw what he just did to his girl — imagine what he would do to me!
–Flatbush area
Overheard by: Damion
Girl #1: Well, there is this one guy on the show that I’m attracted to.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I think it’s only ’cause he has a lazy eye.
–Sidewalk Cafe
Overheard by: Lauren
Crazy guy: Do you see what I put up with? That’s it, it’s over. We have not had sex in ten years. She says she don’t need it…Then I have to sleep with nigger whores. That’s right, Joan, I said it. I sleep with nigger whores, even some white whores. That’s the only way I can get off now.
–Da Andrea, Hudson Street
