Girl: How come you don’t eat me out anymore?
Guy: You have ridiculously strong thighs.
Girl: So?
Guy: When you cum you crush my head.
Girl: Jesus, you’re such a pussy.
–L train
Girl: How come you don’t eat me out anymore?
Guy: You have ridiculously strong thighs.
Girl: So?
Guy: When you cum you crush my head.
Girl: Jesus, you’re such a pussy.
–L train
Yuppie guy: I want to have three kids. First a boy, then two girls.
Girl: What if it doesn’t happen in that order?
Yuppie guy: There are ways to make it happen.
Girl: Oh, like, different positions?
–48th & 7th
Hobo: Spare some change for the leprechaun? I just need four dollars to get back over the rainbow.
–1 train
Guy #1: And I didn’t even go to first base with her. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
Guy #2: Yeah. We were with the ugliest girls in the world that night.
–53rd & Lexington
Dude #1: We were discussing the Holocaust in my class, and there was this really hot guy in it, and all I could think about was fucking him.
Dude #2: Fucking a guy in the Holocaust? Ew.
–1st Avenue & 12th Street
Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Thiess
Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: No, not her
Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Mother: Hmm…remind me to make a stop at The Home Depot on the way home. Your father said he needed a stripper to remove some paint.
–59th & Lexington
Guy #1: She be sucking my dick, and she all in a motherfuckin’ hurry and shit. She gotta take it easy, she got to slow down.
Guy #2: No, no, no. Shit. She’s got to savor the flavor. Yeah.
–27th & 8th
