Guy from restaurant to hobo: Hey, do you want something to drink?
Hobo: Sure, what do you have?
Guy from restaurant: Pepsi, Coke, Sprite…
Hobo: Anything diet?
–75th & Broadway
Overheard by: uneditedtales
Guy from restaurant to hobo: Hey, do you want something to drink?
Hobo: Sure, what do you have?
Guy from restaurant: Pepsi, Coke, Sprite…
Hobo: Anything diet?
–75th & Broadway
Overheard by: uneditedtales
Hipster girl to friends: Oh my god, how lol are we right now?
Friend: Oh my god, so lol!
–20th & 8th, New School Dorm
Six-year-old boy with SpongeBob toyboy: SpongeBob.
Nanny: SpongeBob?! You ain’t bringin SpongeBob in my house! What is it, anyway? A slice o’ cheese?
–L train, Bedford
Overheard by: jake
Chick #1: Eeeeeew, I hate this show!
Chick #2: Me too! Hella boring.
Chick #1: I'm probably going to watch it.
Chick #2: Oh, me too.
–Times Square
Queer to friend: What sign are you?
Friend: Leo.
Queer: Oh, good. I decided that I am going to base what I think of people based on their astrological signs, and I hate Geminis. Like, if I adopt a baby and it's a Gemini I'm going to give it back!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: poor kid
Boy staring at dinosaur fossil: Dude, these animals died a lot.
Friend: Word.
–Museum of Natural History
Chris Noth: I talked to her for 10 minutes and figured out she was crazy.
–15th & Irving
Overheard by: Ameha Beyene
Young man: You're fat because you need to release. Look at me, that's why I'm slim and sexy. I beat off every day.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Salesgirl to salesgirl friend: I wanna thank you for taking the time to repeatedly hit me in my arm fat and make it jiggle.
–Henri Bendel
Overheard by: Stephan Dion
Professor to class of girls: You guys are all thin (looks around classroom and notices there are some fat girls) …mostly.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Suit to another: All I'm trying to say is, she's not tall enough for her weight.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: ednapontellier
Black girl: Fat people can do splits because they have no bones.
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
Five-year-old to very overweight man while waiting for Thanksgiving Day parade: Are you one of the balloons?
–Broadway & 50th St
Overheard by: Peter
Guy #1: It’s witch-tit cold out here.
Guy #2: “Witch-tit cold”? What the fuck is that?
Guy #1: It’s like “cold as a witch’s teat”, but updated for the 21st century.
–11th between 1st & A
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Woman: You need to swim as much as possible to keep the evil away.
–Riverbank State Park
Guy: Don’t they have a special section for people in jail?
–Hallmark, 23rd Street
Overheard by: nj
Grandfather: If you don’t listen, I’m never taking you anyplace else dangerous again.
–Belvedere Castle
Guy: Yeah, I had to put my foot down. I decided it’s not okay for my kids to play with firearms anymore.
–4 train
Suit on cell: Blood is very, very chic.
–85th & Lexington
Overheard by: Harri
Guy on cell: How should I know who’s going to be there?…Why do you care who’s going to be there? It’s a funeral, not a fucking social event.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ciaran
Woman on cell: Dude, I have a shagadelic aura, because they fucked all night when they were here. That’s why I sold them.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Selenay
Suit: Man, I was upstate last week, fuck that clean air shit.
–62nd & Columbus
Overheard by: Tabitha
Guy: We’re all Cannabis. We get the chance, we’ll eat each other.
–Kudo Beans, 1st Avenue
Queer: Oh, I forgot to fucking tell you. I sold my soul for $150.
–Christopher Street
