Crazy woman: Puh-scuse me! Puh-scuse me! Where your pussy products at?
Pharmacist guy: What?
Crazy woman: I said, where your pussy products at?
Pharmacist guy: Um, do you mean cat food?
–Duane Reade, 51st & 8th
Overheard by: Jennifer Farmwald
Crazy woman: Puh-scuse me! Puh-scuse me! Where your pussy products at?
Pharmacist guy: What?
Crazy woman: I said, where your pussy products at?
Pharmacist guy: Um, do you mean cat food?
–Duane Reade, 51st & 8th
Overheard by: Jennifer Farmwald
Girl #1: I just got the best internship ever! I’m so excited.
Girl #2: That’s great! Where is it?
Girl #1: I’ll be working at the Momma Museum; I’ve always wanted to work there.
Girl #2: What’s the Momma Museum?
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: lauren s.
Guy #1: I’m going to dead you, pal. You’ll see. The next time you come around you’re a dead man. You raped my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, you’re a dead man walkin’. I’m looking for you, you’ll see. You’re a dead man. I’m looking for you.
Guy #2: He’s right there!
–The Gate – Park Slope
Overheard by: Alex Tarampi
Girl #1: Yum. It tastes like rum!
Guy: It might be rum.
Girl #1: No. It doesn’t look like rum.
Guy: I know. I mean there might be rum in it.
Girl #1: Oh. But it doesn’t taste like alcohol. It just tastes like peanuts.
Girl #2: Huh? Like peanuts?
Girl #1: Yeah. Like coconuts.
–Coney Island
Flutetard: Does anyone have any requests?
Teen boy: You know Attack of the Bumblebees?
Flutetard: Uh? Attack of the Bumblebees? Yes. No. You mean Flight of the Bumblebee?
Teen boy: Yeah.
Flutetard: No, I need the sheet music. It’s Russian.
–outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Overheard by: Damian Kelly
Woman: Excuse me, I left my passport in the ladies’ room.
Stewardess guy: I’m sorry, madam, you’ll have to wait until we make our way down the aisle.
Woman: But I need to get my passport.
Stewardess guy: I understand that, but we cannot move this cart back far enough. We should be through in a few minutes.
Woman: But it’s in the bathroom! What if someone takes it?
Stewardess guy: If it’s not in the bathroom when you get there, let one of us know and we’ll make an announcement.
Woman: No, I can’t wait for that to happen, I have to go and get my passport now.
Stewardess guy: I understand, but as I’ve explained to you before, you must wait. Please return to your seat.
Woman: Oh, you’re very nice. You know, in the United States, people don’t behave like that.
Stewardess guy: In the Netherlands people don’t dress like that.
–KLM flight to JFK
Dude #1: Islam is bullshit, man. How can you fast for a whole month? No wonder they’re fucking crazy.
Dude #2: They don’t completely fast. They can eat those noodles.
Dude #1: What noodles?
Dude #2: Ramandan noodles–they’re like six for a buck.
Dude #1: Those are called Ramen noodles. God, you’re fucking stupid.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Mommy: Here you go, eat your muffin.
Little girl: Mommy, Mommy, I’m peeing my pants.
Mommy: First you fall out of your bed, now you are peeing your pants. I just don’t know what is wrong with you today!
–Bagel Shop, 97th & Broadway
Overheard by: abigail
B&T Girl #1: He is so “not Westchester.”
B&T Girl #2: I know!
B&T Girl #3: I don’t get it. I’ve been here a year and I don’t get that. And what is or who is “the bridge and tunnel crowd”? Is it a good thing that those guys called us “bridge and tunnel crowd” when we walked in?
B&T Girl #1: Eww.
B&T Girl #2: Gross.
B&T Girl #1: Ew, oh there is so no way anyone called me bridge and tunnel.
B&T Girl #3: So that’s bad?
B&T Girl #2: What could be worse?
–Metro-North
Chick: Well, I didn’t know it was the men’s room.
Dude: What? The urinal didn’t tip you off?
–Ear Inn, Spring Street
Overheard by: Jim Meskauskas
