What Do They Have, Clogs? Pippi Pigtails or Someshit?

Woman: Excuse me, I left my passport in the ladies’ room.
Stewardess guy: I’m sorry, madam, you’ll have to wait until we make our way down the aisle.
Woman: But I need to get my passport.
Stewardess guy: I understand that, but we cannot move this cart back far enough. We should be through in a few minutes.
Woman: But it’s in the bathroom! What if someone takes it?
Stewardess guy: If it’s not in the bathroom when you get there, let one of us know and we’ll make an announcement.
Woman: No, I can’t wait for that to happen, I have to go and get my passport now.
Stewardess guy: I understand, but as I’ve explained to you before, you must wait. Please return to your seat.
Woman: Oh, you’re very nice. You know, in the United States, people don’t behave like that.
Stewardess guy: In the Netherlands people don’t dress like that.

–KLM flight to JFK

Posted on December 7, 2025
Assholes, At the Airport, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Etiquette, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Thievery, Waitresses, Women

No, It’s Just Pork Flavor

Dude #1: Islam is bullshit, man. How can you fast for a whole month? No wonder they’re fucking crazy.
Dude #2: They don’t completely fast. They can eat those noodles.
Dude #1: What noodles?
Dude #2: Ramandan noodles–they’re like six for a buck.
Dude #1: Those are called Ramen noodles. God, you’re fucking stupid.

–Bleecker & Lafayette

Posted on December 5, 2025
Idiots, Junk Food & Fast Food, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

You Should Probably Have a Talk with Grampa

Mommy: Here you go, eat your muffin.
Little girl: Mommy, Mommy, I’m peeing my pants.
Mommy: First you fall out of your bed, now you are peeing your pants. I just don’t know what is wrong with you today!

–Bagel Shop, 97th & Broadway

Overheard by: abigail

Posted on November 22, 2025
Food, Kids, Moms, Pee, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity

How About Being Permanently Labelled as Such?

B&T Girl #1: He is so “not Westchester.”
B&T Girl #2: I know!
B&T Girl #3: I don’t get it. I’ve been here a year and I don’t get that. And what is or who is “the bridge and tunnel crowd”? Is it a good thing that those guys called us “bridge and tunnel crowd” when we walked in?
B&T Girl #1: Eww.
B&T Girl #2: Gross.
B&T Girl #1: Ew, oh there is so no way anyone called me bridge and tunnel.
B&T Girl #3: So that’s bad?
B&T Girl #2: What could be worse?

–Metro-North

Posted on November 17, 2025
Advice, B & T, Girls, Idiots, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Trains Not Subway, U.S. Geography, Words

“I did think that huge mint tasted funny.”

Chick: Well, I didn’t know it was the men’s room.
Dude: What? The urinal didn’t tip you off?

–Ear Inn, Spring Street

Overheard by: Jim Meskauskas

Posted on November 16, 2025
Pee, Soho, Stupidity

Someone, Put Her in a Maze Against Flipper

Guy: So you’re saying tuna is really dolphin?
Lady: That’s why it says “Dolphin Safe”. It’s safe to eat even though it’s dolphin.

–Broadway & Worth

Posted on November 15, 2025
Animals & Nature, Food, Guys, Idiots, Stupidity, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

Or Not Very Subtle

Girl #1: …uh, strapless?
Girl #2: Yeah? Which one?
Girl #1: You know you just asked me what strap on I bought, right?
Girl #2: Oh, shit. I’m not very smart am I?

–Victoria’s Secret, Prince Street

Overheard by: Natalie

Posted on November 12, 2025
Bimbettes, Clothing, Dildos and Vibrators, Store, Stupidity, The Village

The Stalinists are Teaching Our Children

HS Girl #1: I’ve never heard of Latvia.
HS Girl #2: I’ve heard of it; I just don’t think it’s a real place.

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: andersonsmitty

Posted on November 11, 2025
Brooklyn, Global Geography, Students, Stupidity

It Also Lets You Commune With Orville

Hispanic mom: How much is the popcorn?
Concession Stand guy: Well the medium is $5 and the large is $5.50.
Hispanic mom: What’s the difference? Is the large just bigger?

–Loews Lincoln Square, 68th Street

Overheard by: ~dana

Posted on November 7, 2025
Food, Latinos, Money & Class, Movie Theaters, Stupidity, Vendors & Street Performers

The Trainables Take Manhattan

Tourist mom: Well, the sticker there next to the door says this is the 2029 train, find that on the map–
NY guy: This is the R train, and that is a bus map.

–R train

Overheard by: Angelo Colucci

Tourist woman: So what do you call this?
Tourist guy: The subway.
Tourist woman: Oh.

–1 train

Overheard by: B. Howard

Tourist mom: So we just wait and the trains come right here?

–1/2/3 34th Street station

Overheard by: Adele

A tourist couple gets on at Times Square. It stops at 72nd next.

Tourist girl: Is this our stop?
Tourist guy: No, they said to take it two stops, we’ve only gone one.

The train continues on to stop at 96th.

Tourist girl: Wait, is this near the stop for Grand Central Station?

–2 train

The train car had no air conditioning so the door between cars was kept open to let in a breeze. A lady steps on the train, stands near the opened door, and then closes it.

Seated lady: We need the air!
Standing lady: It’s not safe.
Seated lady: It’s too hot in here. We kept it open to get some air.
Standing lady: But it’s not safe. I could get sucked out the door.

–2 train

Overheard by: Ebonita

Posted on November 2, 2025
On the Subway, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Tourists

Stupidity