Man #1: … So that’s the real problem with being a drug dealer.
Man #2, noticing shocked little old lady: Yeah, I guess… Can we talk about this later?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Cameron Rose
Man #1: … So that’s the real problem with being a drug dealer.
Man #2, noticing shocked little old lady: Yeah, I guess… Can we talk about this later?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Cameron Rose
Girl #1: Yeah, I think those are real trees. Otherwise, I don’t think they would grow like that.
Girl #2: Yeah, I think you’re right.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Alison Kiczek
Conductor #1: Grand Street next, right?
Conductor #2: What?
Conductor #1: Grand Street is next, right?
Conductor #2: That’s what I said.
Conductor #1: Okay, just checking.
Guy: Watch we stop at DeKalb.
–D train
Chick: That bartender has such huge tits. Are you sure you don’t wish I had bigger tits?
Dude: Honey, you know I love you just the way you are.
Chick: You’re just saying that because I blow you every single night.
Dude: Well, it doesn’t hurt.
–Bar
Overheard by: Debra, The Barmaid Blog
Woman #1: Whose urine is this in the kitchen?
Woman #2: What urine?
Woman #1: The urine in front of the microwave.
Woman #2: That’s not where the urine goes.
–Office, UES
Scared tourist #1, whispering: Did that crazy guy just say his dick was bigger than my heart?
Scared tourist #2, whispering back: I think he said his dick was bigger than yours.
Crazy guy: I said my dick is bigger than your heart.
–A train
Overheard by: Mike
Black guy: Good god. I had to actually work today.
Indian chick: By “work” you obviously mean taking credit for the many hours of hard labor endured by my fellow Indian IT brethren who report to you. You exploiting bastard.
Black guy: Ha, ha. Like slavery. But I’m Black.
Indian chick: Oh, the wicked irony.
Black guy: Word.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: drama
Guy #1, waiting for the Wicked ticket lottery: What happens if we both win two sets of tickets?
Guy #2: Ummm. Then we resell them.
Guy #1: I thought you couldn’t do that.
Guy #2: Only if you sell them for more than they’re worth. So we could sell these for $25 each.
Guy #1: Or we could give them away.
Guy #2: You do realize we’re paying $25 each, don’t you?
Guy #1: Uh… we are?
–Outside the Gershwin Theatre
Overheard by: did not win tickets
Bus driver: Take it to the end of the bus.
Dude: What?
Bus driver: Take it to the end of the bus. I don’t want to listen to you cursing.
Dude: What the fuck? I am not talking to you.
Bus driver: I don’t talk like that.
Dude: You look like you talk like that!
–Q23 bus
Street Vendor: Hey, hey, hey man, jewelry blow out special. Everything a dollar. Buy something nice for your wife for the holidays. One dollar!
Businessman: A dollar? I’m not gonna buy my wife jewelry for a dollar.
Street Vendor: It’s the thought that counts.
–57th and 8th
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
