Talking/Convos

Wednesday One-Liners Carry a Union Card

Hardhat to passerby: Does this building look crooked to you?

–Construction site, 12th & 4th

Overheard by: Random Passerby

Hardhat to another: You’re everybody’s bitch, you just haven’t accepted it yet.

–PATH escalators, World Trade Center station

Overheard by: archly

Hardhat to coworkers: I’m not a monster!

–35th & Madison

Hardhat, belching loudly: There! Whaddya think of that, ya fuckin’ A-wipe?!

–Midtown

Hardhat to circle of coworkers: So, you got the sperm over here…

–Center Blvd, Long Island City

Overheard by: Sabrina

Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Hadn’t Said That

Guy to girl in aisle seat: Excuse me — I think I’m inside you.

–Board plane at LaGuardia

Hot chick to friend: You have to play with it every night. Give it the attention it deserves.

–51st & Broadway

Overheard by: Jatmos

Conductor: If you got something sticking out, pull it all in! In the rear and the front!

–1 train

Teacher: You’ve got to stick it in the hole and twist it!

–MS 54

Overheard by: It’s not turning!

Hoochie on cell: Hi, it’s Sarah returning your call. I’m in Noho… or Soho… I don’t know what ‘ho’ I’m in…

–Broadway, between Prince & Spring

Overheard by: Not a Ho

Sorry, We Can’t Allow That

JAP #1: When I grow up I want to be purple.
JAP #2: What? I’m putting that on Facebook!
JAP #1: Why? I was just talking to myself… Fuck, I was talking to myself.

–82nd & Lex

Sorry, Everybody — He’s in the Terrorist Twos

Two-year-old boy into broken cell: Hello? Hello?
Mom: That’s right!
Two-year-old boy: Mommy? Mommy! Mommy!
Mom: Honey, no yelling!
Two-year-old boy, whispering: Mommy! Mommy! [Turns the cell around, using it as a gun.] Bam! Bam! Bam, bam, bam! [Starts ‘shooting’ passengers.] Bam! Bam! Bam!
Mom: Honey! No acts of violence!

–Brooklyn-bound Q train

Overheard by:

Fine, Fine. But Don’t Forget to Pick Up the Check

Girl on first date: Are you texting someone?
Guy on first date: No, I’m just playing Tetris.
Girl on first date: Okay… You know what? I gotta go, it’s getting late.

–Sushi bar

If Only I Were Still in My Remembering Years

Hobo at end of rant: God bless John Lennon and Marvin Gaye, because John Lennon said, ‘All you need is love,’ and Marvin Gaye said, ‘What’s goin’ on.’
Old lady: Now, that’s a nice thing to remember.

–7 train

Overheard by: Tom

What’s Important Is the Up and Down

NYU girl #1, during fire alarm: Whoa, look! There’s an elevator. Maybe it’s going to dump water on the building to put out the fire.
NYU girl #2: Wait… What?
NYU girl #1: Did I say elevator? I meant helicopter. Whatever.

–Washington Square Park

High Expectations Can Have Unintended Consequences

Kindly gent: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little kid: Retarded!
Kindly gent: Retarded?
Little kid: My grandpa is retarded, and he gets to play and watch TV all day!
Kindly gent: [Stunned silence.]Kid’s mom, embarrassed: He means ‘retired.’
Little kid: Retarded! Retarded! Retarded! I wanna be retarded! [Starts to cry.]

–Washington & Water St

Okay, but Did You Have to Put My Hand in Warm Water?

Tourist kid looking at digital camera, whining: She took a picture of me sleeping!
Tourist mom: You erase it and you die!

–6 train

What Are They Talking About? Discuss.

Male student: Hey, do you want to watch Harold and Maude later?
Female student #1: Is that the one–? Never mind.
Male student: Wait, what were you going to say?
Female student #1: Is that the one with the hippos?
Male student: What are you talking about?
Female student #1: One wore a suit jacket, and the other wore a little dress…
Male student, later: Wanna see Harold and Maude later?
Female student #2: Is that the one with the hippos? Did one of them have a hat?

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Olivia

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist