Out-of-breath Star Wars fan: Hey, do you know where the 3 pm light saber fight will take place?
Bored security officer: I dunno, but it should be over there. That’s where all the weird Jedis are hanging out.
–Big Apple Comic Book Convention, Penn Plaza Pavilion
Overheard by: PoisonIvy
Unitarian teen: Yeah, we’re here for a poverty conference.
Flamboyant MAC salesman: Wow! You guys are so cool! Are there any boys there?
Unitarian teen: Well, really just Keegan.
Flamboyant MAC salesman: Oh my god! Are you a boy? Oh my god, I’m so tripped out! I thought you were some hippy dippy chick or something!
–MAC, Soho
Overheard by: girl in MAC
Dad: Ok, ok, it’s two outs, we’ll go after this batter.
Boy: Dad, I want water!
Dad: You know what I see? An impatient little boy who can’t wait five minutes.
Boy: You know what I see? Someone who’s gonna have their face broken because they didn’t have any water!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Barfly: It was a term of endearment.
Bouncer: A term of endearment is not punching someone in the face.
–2×4, 2nd Ave & 4th St
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor (and Foley)
Headline by: Dave Barnette
Runners-Up:
· “And Assault Isn’t A Spice, Either” – Kathy
· “Aww, you just feel left out.” – Alaine
· “He Said He Wanted Another Hit” – Playtah
· “He’s playing hard to get” – Jeri Rosenblum
· “C’mon, it’s not like she was pregnant…” – laura c
· “It doesn’t count if you don’t leave a mark.” – Scott
· “Welcome to New York” – shorty
· “Another dropout from the school of hard knocks” – jm
· “Barflies Mate Every 48 Hours” – red
· “No, That’s a Term of Three To Ten” – Boyhowdy
· “Dad has a lot of explaining to do” – Mr. Uncreative
· “For endearment, you tend to go for the groin” – ruth
· “Tyler Durden: The Final Years” – Mr. Nobody
· “Punchline” – Robert Katz
Guy: My eye won’t stop twitching.
Girl: Maybe you should have thought of that before you wiped sarin on the counter. Oh, oops, I just realized that the subway is a bad place to talk about work.
–E train
Husband: The male hybrids seem to want to breed but the females aren’t interested, they just sit there and make no attempt to communicate with their peer group.
Wife: Are you being condescending? I sometimes think….I feel you’re being condescending, especially when you talk about the hybrids….
Daughter starts to cry.
Husband: This is never constructive. We’ll continue this later.
–7th Ave & 9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: I really hope they’re gardeners
Girl #1: Hi…What are you drinking?
Girl #2: Hi. It’s rum and cranberry.
Girl #1: Are you single?
Girl #2: Yeah
Girl #1: I love my boyfriend…but sometimes I just wanna fuck other people.
Girl #2 just stares at Girl 1.
Girl #1: Have you ever been in love?
Girl #2: Yeah
Girl #1: Didn’t you ever just wanna fuck other people?
Girl #2: Umm…no. Not when I was with him. You might have a problem.
Girl #1: Wanna go to the bathroom?
Girl #2: Definitely not.
–The Hairy Monk
Overheard by: Shannon
Friend #1: There’s a virgin.
Friend #2: What?
Friend #1: There’s a virgin.
Friend #2: What?
Friend #1: There’s a Virgin record store out by Times Square. We should go.
Friend #2: Yeah.
–Midtown Comics, 40th & 7th.
Man: I can’t believe how many immigrants there are.
Woman: Send ’em all back, what do I care.
Man: Isn’t, like, your mom an immigrant? We all came from immigrants, you know.
Woman: Wah wah, send ’em back.
–D train, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Teen girl: Let’s talk about prom and Toni Morrison.
–Lincoln Center
