Shrimpy guy, singing: Summertiiiiiime, and the livin' is easy…
Black guy: Man, the sons be actin' like daughters and the daughters be actin' like sons!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Porgy
Shrimpy guy, singing: Summertiiiiiime, and the livin' is easy…
Black guy: Man, the sons be actin' like daughters and the daughters be actin' like sons!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Porgy
Teenage boy tourist: Times Square is by far the coolest part of New York. It’s almost like heaven!
–Times Square
A tourist is craning his neck to photograph the Empire State Building.
New Yorker: What is he looking at?! … Oh.
–34th & 5th
Tourist: There isn’t anywhere within walking distance.
–53rd & Lex
Overheard by: Not a Clueless Tourist
Hobo, after stealing someone’s luggage: Tourists need to be more careful when they come to New York City.
–6th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: BOB Sled
Tourist dropping money in front of frozen female mime he’s been staring at for five minutes: That was truly incredible. Thank you so much.
–Outside MoMA
Tourist: I guess we should go to the Ground Zeroes.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Sally Tomato
Thug: Just push them out of the way. They’re tourists, they’ll love it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: duffduff
Comedy flyer guy: Come see a comedy show, best in the city!
Thug, passing by quickly: I hate this fuckin city.
–Times Square
Overheard by: CF
Girl to friend: I can't believe you broke a nail on your own ass hair!
–Church & Chambers
Three-year-old boy to another: I like you but I don't like your baby because your baby grabbed my hair.
–Central Park, Great Lawn
Girl: Oh, I'm so glad this is all working out. (gets up and sees her reflection) Fuck! Why didn't you tell me my hair looked like a dead beaver?
–Prince St Cafe
Overheard by: It DID
Black woman to infant held by her mother: Where did you get all of that hair? I want some of that hair. (pats her head) This ain't my hair, I could really use yours.
–Harlem Polling Station
Overheard by: Joe
Girl yelling into cell: He's not even hairy!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Well then why do they call him that?
Chick: I thought we were made for each other, but he's too bearded.
–113th St
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
20-something-guy: Obama condoms, for long and hard times!
Tourist mom: What's an Obama condom?
Tourist dad: I have no idea.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Shannon
Staff member is interviewing a man who has just finished touring the museum.
Staff member: Is there any famous person you’d like to see in Madame Tussaud’s who’s not here yet?
Man: Tony Danza!
Staff member: ….Right.
–Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum, Times Square
Big black man: It’s ok, I’m not a gangsta!
Nerdy white kid: Neither am I!
–Times Square
Hipster to 50-something tourist who is blocking the way: Hey, lady, where you from?
Woman, proudly: Kansas.
Hipster: Well, Dorothy, this is not Kansas. This is Times Square, New York City, now get the fuck out of the way! (crowd cheers)
–Times Square
Overheard by: G-man
Chick #1: Eeeeeew, I hate this show!
Chick #2: Me too! Hella boring.
Chick #1: I'm probably going to watch it.
Chick #2: Oh, me too.
–Times Square
Man: Have you ever heard a man call his penis a gonzo?
Girl: No, but my boyfriend used to call his the Cookie Monster.
Man: Well, by the way you smell you should start calling your cooch Oscar the Grouch
–Times Square
Overheard by: FuzzyWuzzy
