Little boy: The Russians eat brains?
Mom, looking at cookbook: This is a French cookbook.
Little boy: The french eat brains?!
Mom: Not human brains. Animals'.
Little boy: That's disgusting!
Mom: Yes, it's very high in cholesterol.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington
Gay man #1, pointing at Greek statue: What's that?
Gay man #2: I don't know, but it's got a great ass!
–Met Museum
Overheard by: Peed my pants
Walk of shame girl #1: He said I was the best 20-minute decision he ever made.
Walk of shame girl #2: Oh my god, really??
Walk of shame girl #1: Yeah, more like 5 minutes.
–89th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Just Out For Coffee
Woman #1: I just don't get why he isn't being spontaneous anymore.
Woman #2: I probably wouldn't want to be “spontaneous” with my girlfriend who just slept with my dad either.
–92nd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Chick who didn't realize she lived in Melrose Place
20-something skinny hipster girl: I'm in an eating phase. It started on Tuesday, and it'll go until Friday, if I've calculated my lunar cycle correctly.
20-something skinny hipster boy: Yeah, me too… I hadn't eaten for weeks, so I'll probably go til Saturday or Sunday.
20-something skinny hipster girl: What about you?
20-something chubby stoned hipster girl: I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. I eat like a normal person.
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: emily darwin
Girl on phone: I'm so sick of this! He keeps making excuses not to see me! I feel like I'm being used! (pause) No, really. (pause) I just can't deal anymore! We only hang out when he wants sex! (pause) And his excuses! Ohmigod! They are getting so lame. (pause) If it's not his work or boss, it's his nanny or his wife or his kid. (pause) I mean… what's his deal?
–Broadway & 20th St
Overheard by: Cali in NYC
Hispanic woman: And meanwhile the husband is in fucking Iraq, and she cheats on him with the UPS guy! What can brown do for you!
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Suit on cell: The love, the dirty sex, and the money… It's all going so well, and yet so sneaky. (hangs up, then dials another number) Mary, I think he's finding out… (pause) It's not my fault I am fucking my best friend's wife.
–79th St & Madison
Overheard by: Anna
Girl yapping on cell: It was amazing. I mean, I looked hot. (pause) Yes, I wore the naked dress. He took one look at me and had the "Uh-oh, can't control myself" expression. (pause) No, girl, his fucking wife is in town! I mean, whatever.
–51st St & Lexington Ave
Woman: He cheated… On JDate!
–26th & 8th
Redhead: I thought it was a bee.
Brunette: It's a spider.
Redhead: Oh. I have them in my hair all the time.
–85th & 3rd
Dude in car: Hey! Hey! You lost something! Hey, you!
Bald man on cell: What?
Dude in car: Yea, you lost something! You lost your hair!
–94th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nadrian
Average-sized girl: This stuff is beautiful! But it would look so blah on me. You're lucky you're a size 24 waist and can look so hot in this stuff.
Model-looking friend: Meh, it's overrated.
Average-sized girl: Yeah, right! Name one thing that's not cool about being as thin as you are.
Model-looking friend: Well, I kind of miss… eating. (awkward pause) And also, I'm a size 23 waist.
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: Hopes she's exaggerating
Little girl in line at ATM: Mommy, I liked your hair better when it was gold.
Mother: Gold hair is expensive, honey. There's a recession going on. Don't like mommy's new recession color?
Little girl: Not really.
–106 St & 2nd Ave
