Chick #1: They’re so unpatriotic.
Chick #2: What do you mean?
Chick #1: I, like, went to visit a friend of mine in Canada for the 4th of July weekend and nobody was celebrating the holiday.
–Hudson & Leroy
Chick #1: They’re so unpatriotic.
Chick #2: What do you mean?
Chick #1: I, like, went to visit a friend of mine in Canada for the 4th of July weekend and nobody was celebrating the holiday.
–Hudson & Leroy
Yarmulke man: Excuse me, where does this train go to?
Do-rag guy: Florida.
Yarmulke man: Florida? Texas? California?
Do-rag guy: Yep.
Yarmulke man: Okay! Good.
–6 train
Overheard by: Rachel
Man on cell: The notebook is perfect and it also fits down my pants.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I Love You Alex
Hipster girl: So, as I was tasting him… Oh! My pants just unbuttoned!
–W 12th St
Overheard by: Paige
Conductor: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is our last stop, Grand Central Station. Please make sure you have your purses, pants, makeup and fake eyebrows.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Meaghan
High school goomba on cell: He’s just mad because I’ve got my own style. Y’know, I decided what I wanted to be like — y’know, how I wanted to look — and went with it. Just wait until summer — he won’t be able to touch me. Yo, do you know how hard it is to find white pants in Staten Island if you’re a guy? I had to go to Brooklyn to get them!
–S48 bus, Staten Island
Overheard by: It’s not part of the uniform?
Girl on cell: Just pull your pants down and take it like a man!
–E 12th & 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Mistres Silver
Dude: Remember when that Turkish girl stuck her hands in my pants? I was like, ‘Hold on. You’re Muslim and I’m Texan — I don’t think this is gonna work.’
–Cheapshots
Overheard by: B
Man to lady: I need pants desperately. I can’t wait!
–32nd & Broadway
Chick: I’m European. Europeans don’t wait on line — this is bull. [Two hours later, to bathroom attendant] Yeah, well, I was born and raised in Queens, so I guess that’s why I’m so outspoken.
–Crobar
Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova
Skinny Asian man to large black woman: You too fat!
–4 train
Overheard by: LP
Cultured concert connoisseur: I think this girl was from California. She spoke Asian and Spanish.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: ak
Hipster, sitting next to Asian women: Awesome. Asians have tiny asses!
–R train, Canal St
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
Hipster chick: Asians eat the darndest things.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Lesley
Asian fag hag: Of course it doesn’t sound right! I’m a girl doing gay porn!
–West Village
Overheard by: megan
Asian woman suit: I’m really just tired of being a mobster.
–Wall St & Nassau
Hobo lady to Asian-looking girl: If I speak in your language, will you give me some money? Heeeyyyaaah! Karate chop!
–44th St & Lex
Overheard by: Made my morning
Suit #1: You know why this three day weekend is so great?
Suit #2: Because it’s three days?
Suit #1: No, because the kids will be in school.
Suit #2: They don’t give them Columbus Day?
Suit #1: Nope. I guess because they get off for the Jewlidays.
Suit #2: Must be a Jersey thing.
–Madison between 55th & 56th
Little boy: I loved Philadelphia! Mommy, why don’t we move there? I wish we lived there!
Yuppie mom: No you don’t, sweetie. Philadelphia is kind of the ghetto.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: daile
Drunk dude: Where are you from?
Chick: Pittsburgh.
Drunk dude: Oh, no kidding! [Points to his friend] He’s from Minnesota, too!
Friend: No, actually, I’m from Texas.
Drunk dude: Whatever — that’s still close to Minnesota, isn’t it? Or Michigan or whatever.
Chick: … Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania…
–1 train
Overheard by: Chiara
HS girl #1: So exactly how many states are there?
HS girl #2: 52.
HS girl #3: I thought there were only 50.
HS girl #2: That’s because they never count Haiti and Cuba.
–F train
Overheard by: Ting
Midwood girl #1: Hey, where is Maryland anyway?
Midwood girl #2: It’s in D.C. somewhere.
Midwood girl #1: Oh, right.
–Flatbush bagel shop
Overheard by: Ford Madox Hueffer
