Customer: What time does the live entertainment begin?
Waiter: Around 11 p.m.
Customer: Can you call and ask them to start early? It’s eight p.m., and I’m here now.
–Rafina Taverna, 78th & York
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Customer: What time does the live entertainment begin?
Waiter: Around 11 p.m.
Customer: Can you call and ask them to start early? It’s eight p.m., and I’m here now.
–Rafina Taverna, 78th & York
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
A well-dressed, middle-aged woman is being kicked out of a restaurant for inviting herself to sit at several other customers’ tables.
Waiter: Come on, you have to leave.
Woman: Baby, there is basically an aura about me. Would you care to venture through it?
–Restaurant, W 4th St
Worker #1: It should be really slow tonight, because it’s the holiday where all Jews can’t go out of their houses.
Worker #2: You mean, they can’t step outside at all?
Worker #1: Well, I don’t know if they have to stay in their actual houses, but wherever they are, it’s not here!
–Yom Kippur, Cosi restaurant
Waiter: Every time I see you, you look younger.
Older man: Oh?
Waiter: Younger, fresher, more rejuvenated…
Older man: I’ll remember you in my will.
–Diner, Broadway & 78th
Old matronly black woman: Wanna go to a hotel? I feel like fucking…Let’s go!
Young Pakistani waiter: Get out of here, you crazy old bat!
Old matronly black woman: I still got it in me to fuck!
–Coffee Shop, Bronx
Overheard by: soulgrrl
Customer: I’ll have a twelve-inch wheat —
Deli guy: Foot-long, or half?
Customer: Um… twelve inches. Isn’t that a foot?
Deli guy: Foot-long, or half?
Customer: I think you’re missing something here.
–Subway, Elmsford
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Girl: And can I get brown rice with my order?
Waiter: No, we don’t have brown rice here. Only white rice.
Girl: Oh, OK.
Waiter: We don’t consider brown rice Chinese food.
–40th & 2nd
Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.
–Battery Park
Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.
–Lindy’s, 7th Ave
Overheard by: joemikehap
Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!
–F train
Overheard by: Braincurve
Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.
–Grand Central
Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Laura
Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.
–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Clitoris Rex
Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!
–Times Square
Customer: I’m not really much of a meateater. What would you recommend?
Waiter: Another restaurant.
–Peter Luger Steakhouse, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Man: Yeah, I was a rocket scientist, but I gave it all up three months ago and became a photographer.
Waiter: I became a ninja.
–Ninja New York, Hudson Street
Overheard by: Chris Thompson
