Guy #1: … And then she tried to shank me in the back, and that’s when I had to slap a ho.
Guy #2: Damn, I feel some percolatin’ goin’ on.
–Tribeca
Guy #1: … And then she tried to shank me in the back, and that’s when I had to slap a ho.
Guy #2: Damn, I feel some percolatin’ goin’ on.
–Tribeca
Woman in wheelchair: These models are fantastic!
Man pushing her: These aren’t models.
Woman in wheelchair: Oh, no!
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Overheard by: Jablayblay
Newspaper guy: Free Post! Free New York Post right here!
Suit: Not if you paid me.
Newspaper guy: Yeah, don’t blame you… Free Post!
–Wall St & Broadway
Overheard by: NYT reader
Dude #1: I wonder why we’re here.
Dude #2: I tried to figure it out once…
Dude #1: And what did you find?
Dude #2: I found out that I’m probably gay.
–Wall St
Little boy: What is that?
Mom: That’s a brain.
Little boy: Evil brain?
Mom: No, it’s not evil.
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Grey-haired middle-aged man on cell: 40 grand for a suck. No… 40 grand, and I’ll suck your dick.
–Fashion District
Man on cell: What about the licking? Did you practice licking? I can’t teach you anything if you don’t practice. You have to practice the licking if you want to do it right.
–78th St & 37th Ave
Overheard by: Jillian
Homeless woman: Everyone on this train eats pussy! Guys, girls, all ya’ll!
–2 train
Overheard by: Macaire
Ghetto dude: Do you see that building? Do you see that building? That’s NYU. It took me 26 years to get my degree there. And what am I doing? Still sucking white dick.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: Jay
Guy on cell: Yeah, man, this chick just gave me a blowjob. She was like, ‘Are you on Restless?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah,’ and then she dropped to her knees!
–2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: wishing i did soaps
Suit on cell: On one hand, you’re married, and I don’t need that kind of drama. On the other hand, you do owe me a blowjob.
–Wall St, 2-3 stop atrium
Overheard by: did he get a receipt?
Boy: Mommy, what’s a vah-jay-jay?
Mom: A bird, sweetie! A wonderful bird.
–Wall St
NYC woman: We’re here!
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura, I thought we were here to get cheap fake purses?
NYC woman: We are — this is Chinatown.
Southern tourist bimbo: Why are there so many Chinese people?
NYC woman, slowly: This is Chinatown…
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura! You know I hate Chinese people!
–Canal St
Overheard by: The Wizard
Hobo to girl with two bags and seven textbooks: Damn, girl, where you goin’ wid all dem books? You rob a Barnes and Noble or somethin’? You tryin’a sell your shit, too? Yeah, you know how it is…
Girl: No, I’ve actually spent the last 18 hours in the library studying for my law school exams so I can become an attorney and contribute to society. But I’m sure you know all about that.
Hobo: Yeah, law school ain’t work out for me, neither. How much you sellin’ that New York Peen… Penal… Oh, shit! You learn about dicks and clits and shit in law school?!
–Church St, TriBeCa
Teen girl: I wish I could marry Prince William or Prince Harry — they are so rich and will get me whatever I want.
Teen boy: You know, everyone says that Prince Harry and William are such good catches because they’re so rich. My dad is a partner at Goldman Sachs, and no one wants to marry me! Is there something more to marriage than money?
–Wall St & Broad St
Overheard by: Grossed out on Wall Street
