Man: Oh no, someone didn't pick up after their dog.
Woman: That's a scrunchie.
–88th & Broadway
Man: Oh no, someone didn't pick up after their dog.
Woman: That's a scrunchie.
–88th & Broadway
Girl: He's so awkward. He's a wallflower that stands in the middle of the room.
Guy: Yeah, he's awkward.
–109th & Central Park West
Headline by: Ron D.
Runners-Up:
· “Al Gore Gets Few Invitations” – Coyoty
· “Everyone Wishes Carrot Top Would Retire” – Emily Leonard
· “How It All Began: Hitler at His First Bar Mitzvah” – Nick Pollotta
· “She Realized Shortly Thereafter She Was Talking to a Parrot” – amp
· “That Is Just Jacob Dylan” – Bigwb
Professor: You should go to Trump Towers and pretend to be a prospective buyer, and tour the rooms.
Student: Will they pay for my lunch?
Professor: No.
Student: How bout a scone?
Professor: We're in a recession.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Alexandra Bailey
High school thug girl #1: Yo, I want to get something pierced.
High school thug girl #2: That'd be so cool, yo. But what'd you get?
High school thug girl #1: When I have a daughter I'm gonna name her “bitch”.
High school thug girl #2 (after quiet contemplation): Bitch…yeah…that'd be cool.
High school thug girl #1: I guess I'd get my nose pierced.
–Q Train
Female suit at sink to friend in stall: Oh, yeah! I saw a stainless steel toilet seat cover today, and it made me think of you!
Woman in stall, delighted: Oh, yay!
(both laugh fondly)
–Women's Restroom, Financial District
Overheard by: nowhere near the corrections department..
Professor: Not only will I take off points, but I will go and TP your house.
Student: It's a really long drive…
Professor: It's worth it to me.
–NYU
Overheard by: Spazz
Girl: How's your sister?
Doucherocket maximus: She just had a miscarriage, which was good because we didn't want her to breed with him.
–A Train
Overheard by: Sabrina
Ditzy white girl standing in line: Ugh. It's, like, so much effort to get fresh produce.
Ditzy friend #1: I agree! Should we abort?
Ditzy friend #2: Yes! Abort!
Ditzy friend #1: Abort!
Ditzy friend #3: Abort!
–Union Square Greenmarket
Overheard by: office peon
Teacher, holding up bag with four apples: Okay kids, how much does this weigh?
Really enthusiastic child: Twenty one pounds!
Teacher: Umm…okay. You think 21 pounds. Right. Anyone else?
–Lincoln Center
Woman, pushing baby in stroller through flock of pigeons and hearing him laugh hysterically: Yeah, yeah, sometimes it's the little things in life.
–76th St
Overheard by: jaytro
Guerrilla Top of the Rock marketer: Carpet munching can get you far in life.
–Rockefeller Center
Twelve-year-old girl at Tila Tequila's book signing: This is the greatest day of my life.
–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Overheard by: Helene and Kristina
Short fat white woman to tall older man: Well, I really have no problem with spending life in jail. I really don't.
–Father Demo Square
Man, not moving: This place is draining the life out of me.
–IKEA Store
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Train operator: This is a life-altering bound r train. Prepare to be amazed. Next stop, Nirvana.
–R Train
