No Wednesday One-Liner Left Behind

Rangers fan, about two players who are brothers: No, they're like the same age. They've gotta be like four or five months apart.

–Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: helenathegreat

Blonde to blonde friend, looking outside from Legally Blonde theater: Oh, wow, it's still light out.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jaime and Bridget

Girl to friend: I don't even know how long ago one minute ago was.

–New Year's Eve, Times Square

Overheard by: Kristina

Girl, pointing to turkey walking around: Look at the peacock, it's so pretty!

–Central Park

Lady on cell: I told her she was an ungrateful b-i-c-t-h!

–14D Bus

Overheard by: Evan Wilson

Posted on April 22, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Birds, Central Park, Family Ties, Football, Friends, Girls, Guys, Insults, Madison Square Garden, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Parks, Street, Stupidity, Time, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Hope It's Just Like Riding a Bicycle

Douche on cell: I haven't had sex in 48 days and I feel like it's getting smaller. What should I do?

–48th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jnaz

Really old man complaining to his wife: You'd rather watch CNN than have sex with me!

–The Water Club, 30th & FDR

Overheard by: Trying to have a romantic dinner date

Pretty girl on cell: Yeah, I got this really bad toothache…my gums are sore too. (pause)
What do you mean what have I been putting in my mouth? (laughs) Well, nothing exciting, that's for sure! Maybe that's the problem. My mouth's probably going on strike cause it hasn't been getting any action.

–F Train

Overheard by: I wouldnt have minded putting something of mine in her mouth!

Girl on phone: I mean, if I don't fuck him, who will? His bitch-ass girlfriend certainly won't. (pause) No, not even; she only got those piercings so she could put a fucking lock in it.

–L Train

Random guy outside bedroom window: Just because I won't sleep with you doesn't mean I don't love you!

–Union Street, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Casey

Posted on April 22, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Height, Idiots, Infidelity, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, News, Nicknames & name calling, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Street, Stupidity, Time, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners, Now With Delicious Credit Crunch!

Hobo, yelling to crowd: The stimulus plan won't work! The banks have no money! We need to stimulate the banks! You know how? Cocaine and hookers!

–53rd st & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Andrew

Professor: I knew the economy was bad when I saw Saks had layaway. Layaway is for Wal-Mart, not Saks!

–NYU Law

Guy on phone with mother: No, mom! I'm not going to walk on Wall St today. (pause) Because I don't feel like getting hit by a falling body, that's why.

–Broadway & John St

Asian metrosexual to friend entering clothing store: No, I wanna stimulate the economy!

–SoHo

Overheard by: Galatea

Cute young professional: I better be able to go into a bar and say, "I have a job, and it's recession proof. Wanna see what my bed and a Magnum condom look like?"

–72nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Lindsay D.

Guy on cell: I'm telling you, when a place like that switches from Charmin to Duane Reade toilet paper, you know the economy is in the shitter.

–Great Jones & Broadway

Posted on April 22, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Cocaine, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Friends, Guys, Hobos, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Metrosexuals, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, NYU, Offers and requests, On Cell, Pick-up Lines, Prostitution, Shopping, Soho, Suicide, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Their B Game

Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back!

–Christopher & 7th

Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus.

–125th b/w Park & Lexington

Overheard by: Reilly

Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too.

–Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn

Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo.

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for!

–Shuttle Train

Overheard by: Meredith

Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before!

–NJ Transit

Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson!

–Yankee Stadium Subway Platform

Posted on April 22, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Black People, Boob Job, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jocks, Junk Food & Fast Food, Love, Money & Class, Offers and requests, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, President, Public Transportation, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires, Yankee Stadium

The Homogenization of Wednesday One-Liners

Gay guy to friend on phone: Oh my god, she's not answering her phone? She's having sex. If she's not answering her phone, then she is definitely having sex. Hang up now, because she's having sex.

–Union Square

Overheard by: 1-900-Leave-A-Message

Flamboyant gay on cell: And oh. My. God. Let me just tell you about the cock. The fucking cock. It was eight inches of fucking perfection. I swear to god! It was beautiful. And I was always thinking like, "He's so perfect, there has to be something wrong with him. He must curve to the left or something." But no. I want to take pictures of it.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Julia

Hot gay guy: I went shopping, got a 90-minute massage and then started drinking. It's been, like, the best day ever.

–Barrage, 47th & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Flaming gay handler: I was going to wear my gold ankle booties, but I was afraid they'd clash with my Beagle's fur!

–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Amber

20-something gay office worker: He's buying me a wok! I think it's for real! (pause) I'll chicken-fry his rice.

–19th & Broadway

Overheard by: spf

Gay to faghag: So, you ready to go? We can talk about vagina at Lincoln center. (pauses, takes in her reaction) No? Too off-topic?

–Subway Restaurant, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: onelinerwonder

Posted on April 22, 2009
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Ethnic Food, Fag Hags, Fears, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gifts, Height, Insults, Madison Square Garden, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Penis, Pictures, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Sexuality, Shoes, Shopping, Street, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Weirdness

No Wednesday One-Liner Left Behind

Wednesday One-Liners Hope It's Just Like Riding a Bicycle

Wednesday One-Liners, Now With Delicious Credit Crunch!

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Their B Game

The Homogenization of Wednesday One-Liners

There Go My Friday Night Plans

And Lots Cheaper Than Tennis Lessons

Says the Guy in Crocs?

Also Why People Originally Started Wearing Crocs

Isn't That the L Train?