Hipster #1: Hey, man! Oh my god, how are you feeling?
Hipster #2: Uh.
Hipster #1: You don't remember me, do you? It's okay, you were so wasted when we met last night.
–Williamsburg
Hipster #1: Hey, man! Oh my god, how are you feeling?
Hipster #2: Uh.
Hipster #1: You don't remember me, do you? It's okay, you were so wasted when we met last night.
–Williamsburg
Girl to guy: By the way, I threw away your underwear. I hope you don't mind?
Guy: Nah, it's probably better.
–Williamsburg
Guy: …and then I'd be a cyborg.
–Soho
Overheard by: Nicole Q
Man on cell: But wouldn't that make you a vampire?
–45th St
Crazy guy, returning after briefly exiting car: I tried to make it to the end of the train, but I was blocked by a teenage werewolf. I have encountered them before, but never outside Brooklyn.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Canucking Futs
Guy on phone: In your next life, you're gonna come back as a vampire.
–Williamsburg
Dude, marveling to another on train: Damn, son, you look like Godzilla with a fade.
–Q Train
Hipster waiter: The fucking gnome took my remote control. The one thing in the world that I love. I told him, "you can take anything except the remote control." And sure enough, he took the fucking remote control.
–Restaurant, Williamsburg
Woman on cell: Yeah, today's his wedding. I thought about driving seven hours through the snowstorm to go, but then I realized that it's his third wedding, he has two kids, and he's marrying some woman who's pregnant and married to someone else, so I decided to fuck that shit and stay in the city.
–6th Ave & Bleecker St
Overheard by: office peon
30-something guy on cell: Your dad told you, your brother told you, I told you… Not to get married.
–Upper West Side
Woman: We may or may not still be married. I mean, I signed the papers but I don't know if they were ever filed.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Woman screaming at embarrassed guy: We have to figure this out! You can't be married to two women at once!
–Chambers & Broadway
Overheard by: Jack
Hipster waif #1, standing in line at ice cream truck: I've been like vegan all like day.
Hipster waif #2: So, are you gonna get ice cream?
Hipster waif #1: Yeah…
–McCarren Park, Williamsburg
Overheard by: natty_ice
Girl, holding guy's hand: Are you dating anyone?
Guy: No.
Girl: I thought you were…
Guy: I have an ex.
Girl: Oh, okay.
Guy: That I've tinkered with for about a month…
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Chris K.
Preppy girl, confused: Where are we right now?
Preppy guy: I don't even know.
Preppy girl: Where is the heart of Williamsburg? Is there even a heart of Williamsburg?
–The Brooklyn Kitchen, Williamsburg
Gay student in freight elevator to other students: This reminds me of every romantic encounter I've ever had.
–SVA George Washington Dorms
Overheard by: Nicole
Flamboyant gay man to another: Have you taken a trip down to his passion peninsula?
–Gay Club, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Gay guy to girl on his arm, kindly: That was a waste of your breath and my time.
–Broadway & E 7th
Overheard by: Jon A.
Flamboyant, queened-out Lady Gaga-style gay: Diva, you have to promise me that when I die, you'll head straight up to my apartment and remove all my dildos and drugs so my mom won't find them.
–A Train
Gay man to another: He's a genealogist. Of course he's a bottom!
–6th Ave & 13th St
Skinny hipster girl: I'm telling you, the Polish delis around here are old-school!
Skinny hipster guy: Yeah? How come?
Skinny hipster girl: Cause they've been here for, like … 20 years.
–Williambsurg
Overheard by: The Great Polish Migration of 1990!
Girl: Dave, you got hit by a car, so I cannot trust you crossing the street.
Dave: I ran into the street.
–Graham & Jackson, Williamsburg
