Women

Chick: I’m interested in what’s now — that’s why I live in Williamsburg.

–Court & 3rd Pl

Overheard by: imitation rastaman

Hyper bus driver playing with overhead marquee while driving: I can set it to police bus, training bus… It’s like a microwave — what do you want? Corn? I like to change it to ‘Harlem.’ Then people get really confused. [Changes sign to ‘B6 Limited’ and comes up to bus stop. No one gets on bus.] What do you need, the B6? No? [Keeps driving.]

–B4 bus, Sheepshead Bay

Overheard by: tanechka

Smart guy: There is no West Side. There’s only Zabar’s.

–New York Palace Hotel

Overheard by: Emily

Hipster to another: You should totally move up to Harlem. It’s getting whiter.

–Union Square

Old lady to another: Yes, she’s still alive. She’s living all alone on the Upper East Side. Well, she doesn’t go out at all. You know she hates everyone, even Democrats.

–22nd & 1st

Frat boy with group of orange-tanned, fake-chested blondes: We gotta find me the Meatpacking District!

–N 4th St & Bedford Ave

Four-year-old boy to random woman: Why did the skeleton go out to dinner?
Woman: Why?
Four-year-old boy: Because he wanted to get some ribs! [Boy and brother laugh hysterically.]Boys’ mom: Oh, Benjamin, you’re so shy.
Four-year-old boy: I’m not shy! I talk a lot because I’m drunk! [Ladies nearby laugh, mother blushes.] … I farted.

–LIRR

Man: I’m tellin’ you, a perm makes you look good.
Woman: Goddammit, Pee Wee! No it don’t! You think you know every mothafuckin’ thing!

–Fulton & Putnam, Brooklyn

Overheard by: mira p

Old woman: I just can’t believe that’s where my brother goes out to when he comes to visit me. He’s not gay, so why would he be there?
Old queer: Are you sure he’s not? It’s called ‘Rawhide’ for a reason.

–22nd St & 8th Ave

Woman #1: He ate that shit like a crab. Like crab salad. Tossed it. All that.
Woman #2: Damn!

–F train, between East Broadway & Delancey

Woman #1: He’s kinda funky. He doesn’t bathe a lot.
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yeah, he’s an artist. Like, he wears lederhosen… Maybe that’s a bad example.

–New Pasteur Restaurant

Overheard by: Shawn

Woman #1: Hey! How have you been?
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Forget it.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jane

Woman #1: This line is ridiculous. Is everyone here to see the Annie Leibovitz show?
Woman #2: I guess so.
Woman #1: I haven’t seen the line be this bad since the poop exhibit.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Remember? That crazy poop show? Giuliani wanted it banned, so everyone came to see it…
Woman #2: Oh! The poop show! That was good.

–Brooklyn Museum of Art

Overheard by: Aria Grillo

NYC woman: We’re here!
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura, I thought we were here to get cheap fake purses?
NYC woman: We are — this is Chinatown.
Southern tourist bimbo: Why are there so many Chinese people?
NYC woman, slowly: This is Chinatown…
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura! You know I hate Chinese people!

–Canal St

Overheard by: The Wizard

Woman #1: Wait… So what happened to her?
Woman #2: Well, first she got pregnant, then she got divorced, and then she died.
Woman #1: Oh… Really?
Woman #2: I think…

–Union Square