Woman #1: This line is ridiculous. Is everyone here to see the Annie Leibovitz show?
Woman #2: I guess so.
Woman #1: I haven’t seen the line be this bad since the poop exhibit.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Remember? That crazy poop show? Giuliani wanted it banned, so everyone came to see it…
Woman #2: Oh! The poop show! That was good.
–Brooklyn Museum of Art
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
NYC woman: We’re here!
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura, I thought we were here to get cheap fake purses?
NYC woman: We are — this is Chinatown.
Southern tourist bimbo: Why are there so many Chinese people?
NYC woman, slowly: This is Chinatown…
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura! You know I hate Chinese people!
–Canal St
Overheard by: The Wizard
Woman #1: Wait… So what happened to her?
Woman #2: Well, first she got pregnant, then she got divorced, and then she died.
Woman #1: Oh… Really?
Woman #2: I think…
–Union Square
Woman: I just saw a girl go into the men’s bathroom.
Girl: That’s my boyfriend!
Woman: I’d kill to have that hair.
–Long line for bathroom, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: sexyface
Woman #1: I just come home to problems.
Woman #2: I come home to everything nice.
Woman #1: No, I just have problems. It’s always problems with him!
Woman #2: My cat is just right there, and he’s always fine and doesn’t complain, and that’s why I just love having a cat instead.
–Pine St & William St
Overheard by: why i don’t have a cat
Black guy: I’m Jesus!
Woman: No, you’re not.
Black guy: Lady, I’m Jesus!
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Woman: And you know what’s worse?
Man: What?
Woman: All the demons are male. Always. I mean, how unfair is that? It’s fucking retarded.
–B75 bus
Angry black lady: I’m gonna 69 that motherfucker!
Friend: What?!
Angry black lady: I mean, 68 or 67 or… I dunno. Star 67! That way the bitch won’t know it’s me callin’.
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: This is what makes New York City so great
Woman #1: It’s hot as Haiti in this store.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Isn’t it supposed to be hot there?
Woman #2: I think you mean ‘Hades.’
Woman #1: No. It’s a place in the Caribbean.
–Banana Republic, 42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Not Haitian
Ana #1: Yeah, I felt so good because all I ate for a month was lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup.
Ana #2: Oh, really? But I’m afraid of being on a diet without protein!
Ana #1: Don’t worry, the maple syrup is full of protein!
–Lerner Hall, Columbia University
