Queer: Can I bum a cigarette? I’m about to get my dick wet.
Flamboyant queer: That’s something straight people say.
Queer: Can I bum a cigarette? I’m about to get my dick stinky.
–Soho
Overheard by: Daniel Scott
Queer: Can I bum a cigarette? I’m about to get my dick wet.
Flamboyant queer: That’s something straight people say.
Queer: Can I bum a cigarette? I’m about to get my dick stinky.
–Soho
Overheard by: Daniel Scott
Native guide: All these subways go north-south, see, north-south, north-south. So we have to get the shuttle, which goes east-west.
Tourist #1: Shuttle, shuttle! Sounds like something you'd say to someone when you're upset. Oh, shuttle!
Tourist #2: I don't really understand this whole north-south thing.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Chick: So “scatological”; that’s like, what? Like from “scattered”?
Guy: No, you know, it’s like in “scat porn”.
–China Fun, 64th & 2nd
Little boy looking on ground while holding toy: Have you seen the golden screw?
Nanny: Oh honey, we’re all looking for that.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Let me know when you find it
Girl #1: A fawn is an animal? I was just guessing.
Girl #2: Yeah, it's a small deer, like Bambi.
Girl #1: Bambi was a fawn?! I thought he was a cantaloupe!
Girl #2: You mean an “antelope”!
–Union Square Food Emporium
Tall, loud girl to friend: I don't know, I think he really just wants to settle down, you know?
Hobo sitting nearby: Hey! I wanna settle down!
–Broadway & 78th St
Overheard by: Mary
Man: Jesus, I need glasses.
Woman: How come?
Man: That sign, ‘Hot and Crusty.’ A couple of blocks ago it looked like ‘Hat and Cruelty.’ I know this is New York, but that just had to be wrong.
–89th & Broadway
Crazy man: [gibbering]Sane man: Man, you’re crazy.
Crazy man: I’m not crazy. I’m just an instrument out of tune!
–2 train
Overheard by: Claire
Dude #1: Yeah, I'm talking about my scrotum.
Dude #2: Just to be specific.
Dude #1: My nutsack. (pause) Man, I gotta go back to that strip club.
–55th b/w 5th & 6th
Redhead: That woman is such a cunt.
Dressy guy: How come it’s okay for you to say ‘cunt,’ but if I say it you get all up in a snit?
Redhead: It’s like ‘nigger.’ You can only say it if you are one. [Eyes open wide, mouth gapes, mortified] Oh my god, I can’t believe I just said that.
–Nathan’s, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
