A hobo is holding a sign that reads, “Why lie? I need a beer.”
Hobo: Hey there, mister.
Cleveland guy: Is he serious?
Cleveland girl: I don’t know. What do we do?
Hobo: Smile, folks! It’s a joke! I need a whole six-pack!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Gave him five dollars
Baseball fan #1: Oh, I'm going to get laid tonight.
Baseball fan #2: Are you going to call Alice?
Baseball fan #1: Oh no, you don't understand my life, man! I've got this girl who just sits on a milk crate and sucks my cock!
Baseball fan #2: Dude!
Baseball fan #2: Where does she do this? On a crate? What?
Baseball fan #1: You don't understand my life, man! She just does it wherever! I'm literally ready to smoke crack at any minute!
Baseball fan #2: Man, we don't want to know.
Baseball fan #1: I'm ready to smoke crack at any minute! You just can't control these things.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: simon
Chick: Is that woman pregnant and drinking a beer? Oh wait, that’s just her gut. Probably from all the beer!
–Yankee Stadium
Yankee fan #1: What do you like better — hot dogs or hamburgers?
Yankee fan #2: I like ’em both, man.
Yankee fan #1: You can’t like ’em both! Hot dogs and hamburgers are mortal enemies, asshole. Everyone knows that!
–Yankee Stadium
Dude #1: Hey, you want a hot dog?
Dude #2: No, I’m good.
Dude #1, about absent vendor: The guy isn’t there. I was gonna take the whole thing.
–Yankee Stadium
Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!
–Old Navy, Harlem
Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!?
–F Train
Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass!
–St Mark's Place
Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: torrie
Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone!
–1st & 14th
Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.
–forever 21 (queens center mall)
Overheard by: defragment my harddrive
Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Smack Jack
Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will.
–92nd Street Y
Overheard by: Kelly
Suit, after Yankees game: If Manny Ramirez took fertility drugs, wouldn't he be nanny Ramirez by now?
Female suit: God, you're good.
–Yankee Stadium
60-something overweight bald man #1 during game, watching Kristin Chenoweth on giant screen: Extensions.
60-something overweight bald man #2: Totally.
–Yankee Stadium
‘That Guy’, after proposing during the game, is standing and hugging his fiancee.
Yankee fan: What are we doing, playing baseball or getting married? Yankees first, wife second! Now sit the fuck down.
–Section 18, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Lindsay
