Woman #1: Oh, my son, Henry, never wears jeans. He thinks they are too itchy.
Woman #2: Well, what does he wear, then?
Woman #1: We can only buy him soft pants.
Woman #2: Oh, well my daughter only wears one-piece bathing suits, but we bought her some bikinis today, and when we got home she said, ‘I’d rather bite off all my toenails than wear those.’
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Chris Storey
Guy, about honking nearby: Yeah, that’s gonna get traffic moving. You just have to honk harder. [More honking.] Yeah, that’s the spirit.
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Angry man pulling out of stadium lot: You’ve got to be nice to people…!
Parking attendant: I am nice. Don’t start this. This is not your lot, this is my lot. I was born in this lot.
–Yankee Stadium parking lot
Overheard by: Lucia
Small boy pointing to stick shift: What’s that?
Uncle: That’s the stick shift for driving the car.
Small boy: Oh. Does Auntie drive a fish stick ,too?
–Yankee Stadium parking lot
Old lady in wheelchair: Where are we going?!
Middle-aged son: Don’t worry, we’re getting there.
Old lady in wheelchair: All I can see is asses!
–Subway station, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: meeples
Lady #1: I wonder what that kid over there is reading.
Lady #2: God, if my kid read I’d kill it.
Lady #1: Amy!*
Lady #2: Seriously, I’m never buying my kids books.
–Yankee Stadium
Traveling stud: I met this girl while I was vacationing with my wife and kids, so I took her back to my room.
Friend: Why didn’t you go to her room?
Traveling stud: She was traveling with her parents.
Friend: That’s so awesome!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Erin
Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
Late-20s woman: Up until six months ago, I thought Europe was a country. I just didn’t know…
–6 train
Overheard by: 21 and knows better
Social butterfly: Williamsburg? Where is that? Pennsylvania?
–Broadway & Bond
Overheard by: the bfd
Dude: What? You’re not from Illinois, you’re from Chicago!
–Cheesecake Factory
Female tourist: Where’s Chicago, again? Oh, that’s here in New York, right?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Genissimo
Astonished woman: Los Angeles is not a state!
–Outside Javits Center
Overheard by: Tara
Asian tourist chick: Is this considered the West coast?
–Max Brenner, Union Square
Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?
–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.
–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel
TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’
–26th St
Overheard by: agrees with that girl
College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?
–114th & Broadway
Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.
–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
