Because All the Maids Spoke Spanish?

Woman with nasal voice: I just really need to get out of here, I'd prefer to go someplace warm and interesting. But I don't know where it's warm and interesting.
Yuppie man: My boss–well, I guess I should say “my partner,” cause I made partner…but it sounds so (sexual voice) homosexual to say “my partner randy”…anyway, he just came back from Argentina and he loved it.
Woman with nasal voice: Oh! I just went to Argentina, actually. And then to Uruguay. We went to this little town, it was pretty much the Hamptons of South America.

–Barnes & Nobles, E 86th St

Posted on June 27, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Global Geography, Store, Tourism, Travel, Upper East Side, Women, Yuppies

That and Your Music, of Course

Yuppie: Today was such an incredible day, I met Richard Branson, and…
Hipster: Who?
Yuppie: Oh, Fabian, that’s why I love you so much.

–Broadway & 28th

Posted on June 24, 2015
About Celebrities, Friendship, Hipsters, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Yuppies

Overheard at The Gates II

Informed yuppie: …yeah, no city money was wasted, it was all self financed.

–The Gates

Grandpa: You’re not listening to me!
Grandma: Well, if I listened to you what would you ever have to yell about?

–The Gates

Overheard by: Martha Gelnaw

Little boy: Where are the rides? Mommy, I want to go on the rides!

–The Gates

Posted on June 17, 2015
Central Park, Couples, Kids, Old People, Yuppies

In Fact, I Strongly Suspect I’m the Missing Link

Yuppie guy: So, what did you have for breakfast?
Yuppie girl: Um, a chicken and cheese sandwich.
Yuppie guy: You mean an egg and cheese?
Yuppie girl: Oh, yeah. Well, technically it’s still a chicken sandwich. What came first, anyway, the chicken or the egg?
Yuppie guy: Well, probably the chicken because it was created — like Adam and Eve.
Yuppie girl: Personally, I think it was the egg. I believe in evolution.
Yuppie guy: Uh-huh.

–Starbucks, E 53rd

Overheard by: Johanna

Posted on June 4, 2015
Junk Food & Fast Food, Starbucks, Yuppies

Don’t Bogart the Wednesday One-Liners!

Flyer guy to tourist: Take it, take it, it’s free! But my weed is not. I’ll be right here until five.

–45th & Broadway

Overheard by: Engi

Yuppie guy: Hey, you wanna buy a bong and get pierced?

–MacDougal & Bleecker

Overheard by: Betty Noir

Guy listening to iPod: Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed!

–183rd & Audubon Ave

Overheard by: BB

Black guy to another: All those niggas do is smoke weed and call ACS on each other!

–A train, Brooklyn

Guy on cell: Dude every time she sees me she’s like, ‘O-M-G, you’re high.’ And I usually am, but like, I like to think I hide it well. But she always knows. And even so, I’m like, ‘Em, why do you have to comment on it every single time? At the dorms, at parties, even at Target one time!’ Hahaha… But anyway, we might come Thursday. I’ll see if my funds are in order to make the trip. What kind of shit would we have to wear? Beach stuff? Oooh, and I could rock my stunna shades.

–6 train

Guy outside MTV studios: Stay calm. Everything is going to be okay. There will be marijuana giveaways.

–1515 Broadway

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on June 3, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Clothing, Default, Fears, Flyer people, Free stuff!, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Office politics, On Cell, On the Subway, Race, Stoners, The Village, Time, Travel, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Weed, Yuppies

That’s Right, 25 Became the New 30 Last Week

Guy: We are such yuppies.
Girl: What’s a yuppie?
Guy: It stands for Young Urban Professional.
Girl: Oh, I thought it just meant anyone who lives in New York who’s under the age of 25.

–Angelika, Houston Street

Posted on June 2, 2015
Girls, Manhattan, Money & Class, Movie Theaters, Soho, Yuppies

Even Instant Gratification Isn't Enough Anymore

Yuppie giving panhandler change: Don't do drugs.
Panhandler: Where am I going to buy drugs for a quarter?

–105th St & Broadway

Overheard by: matthew

Posted on May 13, 2015
Advice, Drugs, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Money & Class, Panhandling, Yuppies

Trump: Is It a Quality /Mercedes Brand Dick?

Overprivileged yuppie #1: Did you see that? Dude, did you *see* that?! Man, I *own* this fucking city!
Overprivileged yuppie #2: No you don't, skizzball. Donald Trump owns this fucking city.
Overprivileged yuppie #1: Donald Trump can suck my dick!

–85th & 2nd

Overheard by: SoOverIt

Posted on May 13, 2015
About Celebrities, Insults, Penis, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Yuppies

If You Remember, It Wasn’t Crack

Yuppie chick #1: Sarah D. Roosevelt Park! Remember when we bought crack there?
Yuppie chick #2: We didn’t even buy crack. We just smoked it.

–Houston & Chrystie

Posted on May 13, 2015
Drugs, Manhattan, The Village, Yuppies

I’d Do It Myself, but I Just Had My Nails Done

Yuppie #1: Somebody had better shut that kid up.
Yuppie #2: Someone should tell that woman to control her child.
Yuppie #3, across train: Would somebody please tell that woman to shake her baby?!

–Very crowded R train

Overheard by: The3rdBridge

Posted on May 9, 2015
Assholes, Gripes, On the Subway, Yuppies

Yuppies