Guy: Well, she was like 35, so she wasn’t hot…
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Guy: Well, she was like 35, so she wasn’t hot…
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Checkout lady: School supplies? You gotta buy this in September, not December!
Chick: I know, but my little cousins want school supplies for Christmas, they wanna play teacher. I’m just following orders.
Checkout lady: Christmas?
Chick: Yeah, Christmas, it’s a gift.
Checkout lady: What about Hanukkah?
Chick: What about it?
Checkout lady: You ever heard of it?
Chick: Yeah, but these are a Christmas gift.
Checkout lady: You Jewish? Which half?
Chick: Only the good half.
Checkout lady: You a teacher?
Chick: No, a librarian.
Checkout lady: You look too young to have finished college. How old are you? Twenty?
Chick: No, I finished college.
Checkout lady: You eighteen?
Chick: No, I’m twenty-three.
Checkout lady: Oh. You gotta get married, then.
–K-Mart, Staten Island
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Drunk girl: Oh my god, I look like an 85 year old man.
Buzzed girl: Yeah, I was just about to say that.
–Rosie O’Grady’s ladies’ room, 7th Avenue
Overheard by: Rachel Lovinger
Girl #1: My brother’s started taking marijuana and I’m worried cause he’s only 17.
Girl #2: I’m so anti-drugs because my dad’s brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?
–Columbia University
Woman: Oh shit. Today’s the 25th anniversary of John Lennon’s death. He was so hot back then, yo. I was seven when he died, and now I’m pushing forty. But I still look damn good, yo.
Man: Was he a Beatle?
–6 train
Overheard by: alan cross
Girl #1: Oh no, I can feel my pulse in my neck!
Girl #2: You can always feel your pulse in your neck, douchebag.
Girl #1: No, but it’s, like, really strong.
–Washington Square Park
Bag lady: I have osteoporosis.
Hobo: Ostoprognosis? Is that serious?
Bag lady: Well, I might die from it. It makes you boneless. I have no bones. Like a Perdue chicken.
Hobo: So it turns you into a skeleton!
–2 train
Guy: I wish I could turn my fat into gold.
–18th & 5th
Overheard by: basselope
Old cashier lady: Sixteen years ago they gave me 72 hours to live. I only have three arteries in my heart.
Old customer lady: How many are you supposed to have?
Old cashier lady: Four.
Old customer lady: Oh. That’s not that bad…
–Stop and Shop, Astoria
Overheard by: Dan
Guy: You’re how old? 27? Wow, I’m old.
Chick: Why, how old are you?
Guy: 35. If this was 1000 years ago, I’d be dead by now.
–Office, 51st & Park
Overheard by: Shannon
