Hispanic girl: You’re always showing off!
Black kid: What?
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black kid: Stop it!
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black passenger guy: Man, why’s it always gotta be our people pulling this shit? You never see white people pulling this shit. You never see Chinese people pulling this shit. Man!
–C Train
Overheard by: Noelle
Little boy, shouting and grabbing magic wand from his sister: No! I wanna be Hermione! It’s my turn to be Hermione!
Little girl: Be Harry! His magic’s better!
Little boy: But Hermione’s clothes are so much cooler!
–Barnes and Noble, E 86th St
Overheard by: Noel Coward
Little girl: Daddy, what’s that building?
Harried dad: The Goldman-Sachs building, I think, in Jersey City.
Little boy: What town is that on top of the hill?
Harried dad: Union city.
Little girl: What are they building there?
Harried dad: Condos. Jesus, will you two turn around? I didn’t pay $45 for you to look at New Jersey.
–NY Waterway Ferry
Overheard by: Atlantic13
Father yelling at his drunk son: Hey! Don’t lick my damn ciggarettes!
Son: I lick whatever I fucking want!
Father: I’ll lick your fucking ass! [People turn their heads] …What, he’s my fucking son!
–East Village
Five-year-old boy: I want a spoon of peanut butter for breakfast!
Dad: Are you allowed to eat that for breakfast? I’m not sure, let’s call your mom.
Five-year-old boy: You’re an adult, you can make those decisions.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Cecilia
Really tall kid: Then my mom said I couldn’t use condoms anymore.
Really tall friend: … Way for that guy to hear you.
–Hilton Hotel
Six-year-old boy: I’m excited! Pizza, pizza, pizza!
Father: How do you spell “pizza”?
Six-year-old boy: P…I… Z… Z… O?
Father: Close, son. Try again.
Six-year-old boy: F?
Father: No…
Six-year-old boy: Q? G? L? [starting to cry.] I just don’t know!
–110th & Broadway
Teenage girl: Look at the headline on this magazine. There’s a quiz called “do you know if you’re a virgin?”
Teenage boy: Yes. Oh god, yes.
–Barnes and Nobles, Astor Place
Father, trying to drag young son into store: Come on! What’s the matter?
Son: The people in there are scary!
–Outisde Hot Topic
Overheard by: Penny Lane
Little boy holding pack of Orbitz gum: Mommy, is this kosher?
Mother: Sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you that we aren’t Jewish?
–Duane Reade, 50th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kyle
