Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Wednesday One-Liners?

Little boy: But I was really excited for her to get a hernia!

–35th & 6th

Overheard by: alix

Eleven-year-old boy, to classmate that he just hit with a ball representing "responsibility": Oooooooo!!! You just got pounded in the face with responsibility!!!

–Bushwick, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Their Proud Counselor

Ten-year-old girl, about figures: Why do they all have to be boys?

–Bodies: The Exhibition, South Street Seaport

Overheard by: Robert

Young child crossing the street while holding his mothers hand: [Singing] Please… Don’t… Enter me.

–70th St & Columbus

Little boy: It’s not illegal to jiggle.

–6th & 17th

Preschooler to daddy: Can I get that three hundred dollars now?

–UES

Posted on April 30, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Brooklyn, Education, Friendship, Gender issues, Girls, Illness, Kids, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Questions, Singing, Tweens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Words

But You Were So Supportive About the Red Dress!

Twelve-year-old boy: How do you know they don’t have kid’s sizes?
Mom: I just know they don’t.
Kid: But how do you know?!
Mom, impatient: I know!

–Christopher St., in front of Gay Leather Fetish Shop

Posted on April 28, 2008
Boys, Clothing, Default, Moms, Questions, Tweens, West Village, Wishes & desires

You Can Watch Them in Their Natural Habitat

Little black boy in school group: Why are there all white people here? Is this a white people place, Miss Hannah?
Teacher: Well…

–Museum of Natural History

Posted on April 28, 2008
Black People, Boys, Default, Education, Kids, Museum of Natural History, Questions, Race, Teachers/Professors

A Little Bit Quieter Than That

Male student: I think it was just like… quiet racism.
Exuberant black teacher, whispering: Nigga!

–ICE High School, 16th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Lady-Bastard

Posted on April 28, 2008
Black People, Boys, Default, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Race, School, Students, Teachers/Professors, Words

He Gives Me All the Nutrition I Need

Boy waving banana: Want this?
Frustrated girl: I don’t need a banana. I have a boyfriend.

–College Walk, Columbia University

Posted on April 27, 2008
Boys, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Default, Fruit, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality

Hey Kid, Stop Being Black on the Subway!

Hispanic girl: You’re always showing off!
Black kid: What?
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black kid: Stop it!
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black passenger guy: Man, why’s it always gotta be our people pulling this shit? You never see white people pulling this shit. You never see Chinese people pulling this shit. Man!

–C Train

Overheard by: Noelle

Posted on April 27, 2008
Black People, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Latinos, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Questions, Race, Strangers

There’s No Magic Like the Sorcery of Proper Accessorizing

Little boy, shouting and grabbing magic wand from his sister: No! I wanna be Hermione! It’s my turn to be Hermione!
Little girl: Be Harry! His magic’s better!
Little boy: But Hermione’s clothes are so much cooler!

–Barnes and Noble, E 86th St

Overheard by: Noel Coward

Posted on April 26, 2008
Advice, Books & Writing, Boys, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Grocery Stores, Kids, Magic, Upper East Side, Wishes & desires

And Take Off Those Pleather Jackets –You’re Embarassing Me

Little girl: Daddy, what’s that building?
Harried dad: The Goldman-Sachs building, I think, in Jersey City.
Little boy: What town is that on top of the hill?
Harried dad: Union city.
Little girl: What are they building there?
Harried dad: Condos. Jesus, will you two turn around? I didn’t pay $45 for you to look at New Jersey.

–NY Waterway Ferry

Overheard by: Atlantic13

Posted on April 20, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Ferry, Girls, Kids, Money & Class, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, Questions, U.S. Geography

Worse and Worse, Dude

Father yelling at his drunk son: Hey! Don’t lick my damn ciggarettes!
Son: I lick whatever I fucking want!
Father: I’ll lick your fucking ass! [People turn their heads] …What, he’s my fucking son!

–East Village

Posted on April 18, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Family Ties, Incest, Licking, Parents, Threats, Weirdness, Words

God, You’re the Wimpiest Kidnapper Ever!

Five-year-old boy: I want a spoon of peanut butter for breakfast!
Dad: Are you allowed to eat that for breakfast? I’m not sure, let’s call your mom.
Five-year-old boy: You’re an adult, you can make those decisions.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Cecilia

Posted on April 18, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Food, Kids, Parents, Questions, The Village, Wishes & desires

Boys

But You Were So Supportive About the Red Dress!

Hey Kid, Stop Being Black on the Subway!